Raising Interest Rates

November 13, 2022

Raising Interest Rates: Full Design

This week, the Nass gets its heart broken, writes fiction about disordered eating, and logs delirious entries in a Dream Journal.


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Overheard in a fight over astrology in Firestone

Wandering Theta junior: "I was conceived on 9/11, the day of America's greatest tragedy."

Overheard on Instagram

Drama aficionado: “A little sense of drama makes any misfortune manageable.”

Overheard on Nassau Street

Sagacious student: “I don't need a soulmate. I'm B.S.E.”

Overheard on Witherspoon

Romantic consultant to anxious roommate: “Think, but don't overthink.”

Overheard in lecture

Inquiring professor: Are any of you regular readers of "The Yacht Report”?

Overheard in newspaper room

Enlightened editor: “If you want a man at this school, you gotta date lower.”

Overheard in dining hall

Student eating dinner: "I recognize the value in edging."

Overheard at late meal

Concerned friend: "You're gonna cry that day no matter what, so would you rather do it while having great sex, or alone in your room after a quasi-date?"

Overheard on the way to Roma

Girl on the phone: "Don't get married right now!"

Overheard at a dorm postgame

Riled-up interrogator: "Name one semi-casual restaurant in Princeton that you'd take a friend-turned-lover to right now!"

Overheard during the World Series

Curious Californian: "Hey Siri, what pronouns does the Philly Phanatic use?”

Overheard while procrastinating

Mom friend: “Okay, continue about your bike accident that I don’t care about.”

Overheard while studying

Revolutionary: “I truly want to fuck the framework.”

Ally: “I thought you were ace, bro.”

Revolutionary: “I meant fuck UP the framework!”

Overheard in New College West

Exasperated student: “I don’t party. I'm FSI.”

Overheard in an Uber

Personal finance guru: “I might just sleep all day so I don’t have to pay for food.”

Sage Lakers fan: “Mamba mentality.”