N A S S

April 21, 2005

Polar Bears Totally Rule

White. Huge. Fucking awesome. Yes, I am talking about that king of the North Pole, of the animal kingdom, and maybe even of the universe: ursus martimus, better known as the polar bear.

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Indie Lesbian Sisters Can Rock, Too

“People sometimes say that we’re cold, or cagey and hard to get to know,” says Sara Quin of the Canadian singer/songwriter duo Tegan and Sara, “We don’t try to be that way, but because Tegan and I are twins, we kinda live in our own insulated world.” But over the course of our conversation, Quin is anything but cold.

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The Wawa Fans

Well, after being bestowed with the MVC(Most-Valued-Cashier) by the Spectator, I felt compelled to return the favor by bestowing awards on my most loyal fans. After all, where would I be without them? So without further ado and without all the fanfare of large scale expensive award ceremonies that drag on for hours on end – I present the awards for 2005.

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Loyal Opposition

There has already been a great deal of discussion about the USG’s proposed resolution barring the ROTC from campus. But even though debate on the resolution has been tabled until the fall—perhaps because it has been tabled—we should continue to discuss the issues that this rather sudden, and suddenly ended, discourse has raised.

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Misstating the Problem

I’m happy there’s some sort of controversy about ROTC on campus. It’s an tangible debate over ideas about which we usually argue in the abstract: the greater good, civic duty, and equality.

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Operation Vile?

Operation Style put on their annual charity fashion show on Friday on the Frist South Lawn. It looked like a benefit in a second-rate but affluent suburb, or a production at a private school looking to increase its endowment.

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Gorbachev in Trenton

This is the man who melted the Cold War. This is the man who led the Soviet Union from 1985 to 1991. This is the man who signed two broad disarmament pacts and ended communist rule in Eastern Europe. This is also the man who did a Pizza Hut commercial in 1997.
But what was he doing in the Trenton, New Jersey on Monday afternoon?

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Single Kid Finalists

Will Ryan Foss, Will Wachter, or Ivana King be the Nassau Weekly’s Single Kid? Readers: the decision is in your hands.

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Verbatim

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Overheard at Ivy

(Pike looks downcast.)
Kappa: Hey, what's wrong?
Pike: I'm just really depressed right now.
Kappa: Really? Why?
Pike: Well, I just found out that the Lacoste alligator is actually a crocodile.

Overheard at the Ellipse (3rd Floor)

Engineer Guy: It's good you're not too naive or innocent.  If you were, I'd never get BJs.
Theta Girl:  No, that's what the naive girls do!  It's because nowhere in the Bible does it say 'Thou Shalt Not Blow Thine Boyfriend.'

Overheard in Café Viv

Grad student 1: I was attempting to help her with her econ and...
GS 2: Wait, she was your student, right?
GS 1: Yeah...
GS 2: Hey, I tried that once. I married my TA. Didn't work out so well.
GS 1: Baby, if you were my student, I would have treated you like a queen.
A few minutes later...
GS 1: I think I have a working relationship now...an open one.
GS 2: An open one?
GS 1: Yeah...
GS 2: I had one of those, too. Didn't work out so well.
GS 1: But I like her...I think she's cute. She's not my normal look, though.
GS 2: Whats your normal look?
GS 1: Emaciated.