Monster Soup

October 11, 2014


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Overheard in CWR 303

Joyce Carol Oates: Am I the only one in this room who was almost attacked by a swan?

Overheard while exiting Firestone

Guard 1: Did you watch the Rutgers game?
Guard 2: Of course!
Guard 1: Really?
Guard 2: No.

Overheard in Terrace

Terrace president, aggressively: NO. You watch season one ANYWAY because you have to watch the characters PROGRESS and GROW.

Overheard outside Patton Hall

Disembodied voice: I say sexy, you say science...Sexy!
Crowd: Science!
Voice: Sexy!
Crowd: Science!

Overheard in the Art Museum

Man standing in front of Rauschenberg: Honey, you like this one?
Woman: Eh, I like ours better.

Overheard in 1938 Hall

Freshman girl: I’m not stupid! I’m colloquial.

Overheard in Frist

Theta pledge: I skate with children with special needs. I’m so philanthropic.

Overheard in 1901-Laughlin Hall

Theta 1: The other night, he made me touch his chest hole.
Theta 2: Yeah, he made me put my whole head inside it once.

Overheard in COM seminar

Professor: They call it spanking the monkey...Haha! Genitals. Anyway...

Overheard outside Henry Hall

Junior Pi Phi, sinisterly: We could kill anyone we wanted to right now.

Overheard in Joline Hall

R20 member: I feel like once I’m in an eating club, I’ll learn what a soulmate is.

Overheard in the slums

Student: I feel like these people should just, like, go to college and join a frat instead of flying off to join ISIS. Like, they just want to be part of something. So join something else, like, even the YMCA

Overheard in Ivy

Girl: Do you guys want to go to Ivy??

Overheard outside Frist

Wise freshman: It’s Charter Friday. If you kiss randos, no one will judge you.

Overheard in the 1903 Courtyard

Guy 1, furiously: You’re a psychopath!
Guy 2: ​I’m not a psychopath, I’m just enlightened!

Overheard in the Nass inbox

Political reformer: New Jersey has high taxes and a culture of political corruption...To solve this, New Jersey should be dissolved as a state and the territory should be absorbed into neighboring states.

Overheard in 1901-Laughlin Hall

TI junior: My hair is so ratchet right now.
Junior Pi Phi: I think it looks fine, and I’m in Ivy.