November 21, 2013


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Overheard outside Frist

Freshman making out with lax bro against a wall, responding to catcalls: It’s called being beautiful! I’m sorry you’re not very good at it!

Overheard in Starbucks

Woman with infant: We went to middle school together in New Brunswick. She looked like a big lesbian trucker so we called her “big lesbian trucker.”

Overheard in text to Nass staffer

Girl: Hey, would you be ok with [redacted] borrowing your DustBuster? Someone’s proposing in his room tomorrow so he wants to clean! Haha

Overheard on Facebook

Nass editor’s first-ever kiss: just got back from jail.

Overheard in Wilcox

Theta sophomore, on her love interest: Recently he’s taken to communicating entirely in cat photos.

Overheard in Terrace

Senior: This music makes me sad.
Chef: It’s Cajun Night. It’s supposed to be sad.

Overheard in Pyne

White female: I just really can’t handle adversity in any way.

Overheard at a Nass Meeting

Blonde editor: I would accept a small deformity in exchange for safety from meningitis... Like, I would take brown hair maybe.

Overheard in Woody Woo precept

WWS junior: As much as I’d love to save the Third World, I just don’t think it’s something we can do.

Overheard en route to the Street

Drunk bro, to Theta, wisely: Instagram likes aren’t everything, you know.

Overheard the morning after

Hungover sophomore male: I just smelled my hand and it indicated to me that I did not stop smoking.

Overheard at Homecoming

Aesthete Ivy alum: Do you mean rake as in, a rakishly handsome man? Or the garden implement?

Overheard in Lewis

White man: How do you spell “misogynistic?”

Overheard in the Opinion section

Meningitis skeptic: Perhaps, semantically speaking, based on statistics and calculations by the Center for Disease Control, this is technically an outbreak.

Overheard in Frist

Ivy SAE, wooing female: So I just started really lifting again...

Overheard in Bloomberg basement

Disembodied female voice, singing: I wanna go to Aaasia and meet Aaaasians and eat Aaaasian food and get diarrheeeeeaa...

Overheard in the Nass office

Pi Phi sophomore: Emily Post would be freaking out right now.
WASP female: Yeah, she so would.