Hot Stuff

October 22, 2017


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Overheard outside a vape shop

Frosh who just bought a Juul: Wait, I hope I don't get ice cream on my Juul.

Overheard at Ivy

Senior man on the Tigerbook controversy: For some reason I didn't feel bothered by the NSA but I do feel bothered by this.

Overheard outside the Art Museum

Art symposium visitor girl: Quick, fuck, marry, kill: the Obama family, go!
Other art symposium visitor girl: I'd marry Michelle, fuck Obama, and kill Malia.

Overheard at CJL lunch

Prep School frosh: Choate was too laid back and focused on diversity; I needed more real elitism so I went to Deerfield.

Overheard at brunch

Econ major, deep in the process of consulting recruitment, during Buddhism discussion: I don't think achieving Nirvana is in line with my long-term goals.

Overheard on a crisp fall day

Ivy senior, in turtleneck: I just wanted to remind everyone how much I hate men with this outfit.

Overheard at Nass meeting

Nass Managing Editor: Enough Judaism! …just kidding, you can never have enough Judaism.

Overheard in Rocky dining hall

Annoyingly healthy sophomore: My body's a temple!
Jaded sophomore: My body's like… a nightclub.

Overheard at TI Breakfast

Ailing senior woman: I got a UTI from sitting my bare vagina in beer all day.

Overheard leaving a Nass meeting

Nass member 1: Wait, are you into communism, too?
Nass member 2: Yeah.

Overheard at Ivy

Nass member: As a man with a sixteen-inch penis, I cannot be confined to boxer briefs.

Overheard on iMessage

Unemployed SWUG: I was supposed to have an IBM interview today but I don't really know what happened to that. I didn't care much—they have an ugly logo.

Overheard outside Murray Dodge

Senior woman discovering her powers, on way to meditation class: I feel like when I put a tampon in before I actually get my period, it summons it, ya know?

Overheard in Pyne

SWUG: I’m so flat that I could have my nips out and people would think they were birthmarks.

Overheard at a pregame

Roommate, commenting on volunteer habits of other roommate: I feel like I'm Christian by osmosis.

Overheard in Frist before a Nass meeting

Plaid-wearing senior: I don't like the furnishings in this room. The feng shui is fucked up.

Overheard in Firestone

A non-senior SWUG: He is on my hot racist guy list.