Cannon Bonfire of the Vanities

November 18, 2018

Mother Tongue

A power imbalance mediated by language, a relationship done and undone in the webs of translation.

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Encounters With Concussion Culture

“In my desperate search for a ‘cure’ for my concussion, I experimented with the outermost fringes of the medical world: the truly punk-rock subculture of medical science.”

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The Frist Iced Coffee

Princeton’s hottest new club.

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The Poster

Sometimes the world has a way of telling you when you have a calling.

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The Man Who Does Everything

The tale of a runner in the city of Princeton.

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Vigil

“I watch what hovers like genie smoke – the grief –/near ancient tombs of white marble with grey veins,/or gravestones on a desert hill,/images that filter vaguely out of the words we use to mourn./Are you awake?”

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Tadao Ando, ma and Me

“Walking through French Baroque palaces-turned-museums and pushing through crowds at the New York Met is a traditional, storied cultural method of viewing Great Masters hanging in gilded frames on the walls. Walking into the Monet room at the Chichu Art Museum in Naoshima, Japan, however, is more like visiting a shrine.”

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Verbatim

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Overheard in the bathroom

Girl, looking in mirror, whispering: Sad… No! Repress repress repress!

Overheard on a bench

First-time smoker, on nicotine: I think this is what cocaine feels like.

Overheard in Tower

USG junior, on the Campbell Crapper: We have equipment in Icahn–let's DNA sequence this shit.

Overheard in Jerusalem

Junior theta: I learned everything I know about Jesus from Jesus Christ Superstar, which means I know a lot.

Overheard on iMessage

Autocorrect victim: I’m about to cry just reading Alexandria Occasion Cortex's Wikipedia

Overheard outside McCarter

Man: I can't use Zagster anymore without getting sad.

Overheard over text at 2 a.m.

Terrace Architecture major, junior: I think I had communist dreams last night, or dreams about communism??

Overheard at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop

Poet: If I had $100 and could give it to poetry or give it to science…I would give it to science.

Overheard in Terrace

Junior, dreaming big: I'm donating 20K specifically so the stalls in the girls’ bathroom can be made bigger.

Overheard in Jadwin

Sad math whiz, broodingly: You only feel the derivative of your happiness.

Overheard in Tower

Former Capitol Hill intern: I really don't want your vote to count.

Overheard in New Hampshire

Concerned parent, mid thought, to son: Did you see what Trump did this mornin—ARE YOU DRINKING COFFEE FROM THE CHINA?!?

Overheard in Frist “study” sesh

Sophomore who doesn't give a damn: I don't know anything about his personality but I know so much about his dick.

Overheard outside RoMa

Girl: Hey did you see the introduction to bondage workshop? We've been missing out!
Boy: My people were doing that thousands of years ago in EGYPT!!

Overheard in Cottage basement

Sophomore, to junior: You're Victoria, and I'm the secret.

Overhead at Murray Dodge

USG member: I have to leave USG because I'm studying abroad.
Another USG member: You lucky bitch!

Overheard at TI

SWUG with an inflated ego: I don't care. I'm a SWUG. Fight me.

Overheard at Terrace, Nov. 1 12:03 a.m.

Sangria-drinking junior: Wow, it is very much still Halloween on Club Penguin.

Overheard in Frist

Liberal Activist 1: I feel like pegging has the potential to take down the patriarchy.
Liberal Activist 2: Who is Peggy?