Blue Ivy League

February 16, 2012


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Overheard at Ivy

RCA, to zees: I just ravage girls.

Overheard in Whitman D-hall

Very large football player: This is a good apple. I usually don’t like apples unless my mom cuts ‘em up for me.

Overheard at Ivy

Ivy senior: I need to be wearing $10,000 at all times.

Overheard on NJ Transit

Sophomore Pi Phi 1: Hey, [name redacted], are your extensions made of human hair?
Sophomore Pi Phi 2: Yeah, it comes from India. They think they’re donating to God but really they’re just donating to Princess [name redacted].

Overheard in Frist

Asian girl, to black girl: I think that’s the blackest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

Overheard in Frist

Girl, working on group project: You know what, this is the last day in my life I am ever going to interact with you, so let’s just get this over with so we can never see each other again.

Overheard in Spelman

Weight-conscious guy: [pointing at manboobs] Do you think that I could get tittyfucked?

Overheard at TI semiformal

Drunk water polo guy: I wanna suck on candy canes and do some fucking narcotics.

Overheard at Cannon

Offensive Lineman: I'm not drunk! I'm just loose like a spaghetti noodle, son!

Overheard in Wu

Bro: Wanna come to Zumba with me on Friday?

Overheard in Rocky

TI-bickering girl: I just keep smelling cat food, everywhere.

Overheard in Terrace

Callous Terrace senior: I'm more interested in New York than autism.

Overheard in Frist

Guy 1: Maybe I should die tomorrow.
Guy 2: Listen, we're still recovering from Whitney.

Overheard at Ivy

Bro, to guy creating playlist: Hey, could you play a little more Top 40?

Overheard on the Street

Upper East Sider, talking about his jeans:
I only own one pair of sevens.

Overheard in Mathey

Princeton Student:
Billy Joel tried to get into my yacht club, but he got turned down the first time.

Overheard in Cafe Viv

Freshman Girl:
I really don't like militant black people. Why can't all black people be like the girls we hang out with, and wear JCrew instead of Baby Phat?

Overheard on Facebook chat

Sleepless Ivy member:
i jerked off
and was watching wonder years
nothing worked
ativan is better

Overheard in Whitman

Freshman Theta, dressing for party: If I wear two different socks would that be nerdy?