Are we abroad yet?
February 23, 2020
Verbatim
More →Overheard at TI
Birthday girl: "If I don’t get an iPad Pro for my birthday I’m literally going to kill myself."
Overheard at the Grad College
Scientific junior: “That’s all phlegm is: throat cum”
Overheard at TI
Junior girl: “Stockholm Syndrome sounds like my ideal love story.”
Overheard in Wilcox
Girl, to gagging friend: “I swear, if you vomit on this table, we are no longer friends.”
Overheard at Frist
Newly Initiated TI Sophomore, on the phone: “I can't wait to bring you. Dad, do you want to go out? Like to a party?”
Overheard outside East Pyne
Ecstatic girl, yelling: “YES!!! I'm going to FRANCE this summer!!! And I'm STILL A VIRGIN!!!”
Overheard in a Rocky Courtyard
Freshman: “Oh, college tours [pause]. Y'all wish.”
Overheard before Dinner
Lit-bro: "Crying of Lot 49 and Blood Meridian: two books about vibing."
Overheard in the Solarium
Terrace girl, to three dudes talking about music: "You're all jacking yourselves off right now."
Overheard at a pregame
Obvious cry for help: "In my first semester I would go to my car because it was my only private space and just scream."
Overheard in Wilson
Horny white Bernie Bro: “If you told me I wasn't going to hook up with anyone for the next ten years, but Bernie was going to get elected, I'd for sure do it.”
Overheard at a pregame
Freshman boy: "I wish I was the person my Instagram said I was."
Overheard outside East Pyne
Guy: “It’s good to see you.”
Other Guy: “Thanks. I wish I could say the same.”
Overheard at dinner
Former Terrace bro: “I'm trying to get into David Foster Wallace.”
Overheard in dorm common room
Flustered freshman: “Laundry is the only simple thing in my life right now.”
Overheard in Firestone, discussing post-grad plans
Senior girl #1: "Yeah, I don't want to live out of my parents' basement."
Senior girl #2: "Your parents made you live in the basement!?"
Overheard at Two Articles
Drunk Crew Freshman: "Oh my god. I can't wait to bicker Cloister."
Overheard in Marquand
Former design editor of the Nass to former EIC: “I was in love with him pedagogically.”