Changing of the Guard

March 1, 2020


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Overheard at a coffee shop in town

TI member: This year I accidentally threw beer on a crowd of parents.They need to be ushered into the new future.

Overheard outside Frist

Upset sophomore: The fact that they took Supervillain Island off of Poptropica is literally a hate crime

Overheard in Whitman

APES Boy to a table of APES Boys: Dude! You gotta sous-vide the eggs to make an eggs Benedict!

Overheard in Spelman

Astute observer: Being white is like vodka— you don’t drink it on its own, but it mixes well with everything else!

Overheard at Terrace

Graduating senior: I love Ambien so much… Can't wait to finally have my own prescription one day.

Overheard in Wilcox

Sophomore libertarian: Mitt Romney is a hottie with a body.

Overheard at Vegan Shabbat

TI Senior Male: How would we all be racist if we were colorblind?

Overheard in Holder Basement

I used to do the crossword. Now I don't have time because I'm always sucking dick.

Overheard on Blackboard

Content added: Lecture 6 — Cocaine Arrives

Overheard at 1AM

Confused Pi Phi: Wait, is Bridge Year a personality trait?

Overheard in Neuro Institute

Disembodied voice, heeled shoes running down the hall: ESMERELDA!!!

Overheard in Wucox:

Bewildered sophomore: What is the difference between The Daily Princetonian and The Nassau Weekly?

Overheard in TI

Nass Editor: The conservative in me is gonna come out…

Overheard in Terrace on a night out

Adventurous Sophomore: Does anyone wanna play strip monopoly?

Overheard on Frist 100 level

Smug Sophomore: I'm writing an essay for Creative Nonfiction about a mathematician's relationship to chalkboards.

Overheard in Seminar

Tenured Comp Lit Professor: I hate to dramatize, but it's the end of the world.