In a dramatic gesture, the Vice President for Campus Life’s Office released a proposal yesterday which outlined a plan to limit the rise in BAC inflation that has, in the eyes of some, gripped the university in recent years.
Last Sunday, I spoke with one of my dear friends about God. We were walking down some path strewn with magnolia petals, as the sun finally shone through the trees, talking about the trees, the breeze, the news.
And you can feel it coming every year. Thanksgiving morning on the train tracks, you can feel it trembling, Christmas in transit, mere moments until it knocks you sideways and leaves you for dead. It isn’t that I don’t like … Read More
Welfome to Princhips, where it’s reproductive season again. A group of horny superorganisms called student groups are vying for your attention and panting for your consent.
Let’s face it – not everyone is good at sex. There are few of us who haven’t had one (or several) bad hookup experiences, and for anyone who hasn’t, you’re either incredibly lucky or you’re the one who’s bad in … Read More
The way it came to me was in a letter. I think a lot of people got them, but I don’t know. It was from Dean Rapelye or maybe Malkiel, and it said something like “you are one of the particularly outstanding students admitted” and to “please consider coming to Princeton.”
I am at a lecture. A lot of the people here are old, but I am kind of young. I am eighteen, which is young but not young like people say I am. I have not been twelve for six years, and when I take off my clothes, don’t say I look so young. I will not put out. Anyway. I am going to a lecture and when I reach to pull up my pants in the bathroom stall, I realize I’m not wearing underwear. I’m not wearing underwear, and I’m not wearing a belt, and probably the man who was sitting behind me (who is old) will see my ass when I sit down again. Everyone is dressed nicely except for me and my bare ass. I am only at this lecture because Kevin sometimes looks like a puppy. This is a narrative, kind of. This is a kind of narrative.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen. I know what you guys have been thinking –- since it’s been so long since we’ve had a Prince Watch, that must be because the Daily Princetonian has finally achieved a journalistic integrity which puts it beyond our childish jabs.
FROM: Marky Berkowitz TO: Mom TIME: 11:51 p.m. SUBJECT: toothbrush hi do you remember if we unpacked my toothbrush when i moved in? i cant find it. ———- FROM: Marky Berkowitz TO: Joline Hall TIME: 11:54 p.m. SUBJECT: lost hi … Read More
I didn’t plan on writing this article. When the weekend started, I was really annoyed that I had a ten-page paper hanging over my head, and I had to spend most of my time all the way down at West Windsor fields for the Ivy League Rugby Tournament.
As I enter the dark-and-slightly-dingy room that is Forbes Blackbox, my mind is suddenly assailed. Suddenly assailed by the age-old tales of up and coming bands that I picked up from Wikipedia in ye olde days of high school (when … Read More
