The times are trying. Up is down, wrong is right, protein is in everything and we’re all CONFUSED ABOUT IT. Luckily, some of the Nassau Weekly’s readership has found the solution to fascism taking hold: vaping. Nearly two years ago, I released a list of vape flavors that Big Vape had been formulating in their research facilities in Terre Haute, Indiana. Now more than ever, the kids are yearning for a flavorful buzz, and top alchemists have gone to work on new and empowering flavors to keep them sedat–to encourage them to resist, like, capitalism. Or something like that. Straight from the lab, here are 50 brand new vape flavors:

1. Benzodiazepines

2. Kabbalah

3. Sonja Morgan

4. Woah Vicky’s twitter

5. Age gap relationship

6. Whitefish salad

7. Sex scenes in movies
discourse

8. The Honey Bunches of
Oats commercial with that
lady

9. Chicken stock

10 . Situationship

11. Fugue state

12. The amount of cigarettes
David Lynch would smoke in a
day

13. Wet bulb temperature

14. Late 90s-early 2000s yoga class

15. Gemeinschaft

16. One 5mg edible

17. Spike Lee’s instagram
captions

18. Laguardia airport water
display

19. Ginger ale

20. Yogurt

21. Facetune

22. Dérive

23. That one photo from Sex
and The City that connotes
humiliation

24. The power grid

25. Chop hoe

26. Twisted Tea

27. Every candy ever. Like just all
of them put into one.

28. Your inner saboteur

29. Call of Duty

30. Birthday Instagram stories

31. Vatican II

32. Crossbody bag-induced
Europeanism

33. Pilates

34. Staring at your own instagram
public

35. World Wide Day of Play

36. The DMV (government
agency)

37. The DMV (region)

38. The Nixon Tapes

39. Courtney Love

40. Bowl of cereal

41. And Just Like That writers
room

42. Amateur DJ

43. I Came to College Eager To
Get Zooted on Loud And Get My
Back Blown Out. I Found Out I’m
a “Mid Bitch” With Terrible Vibes

44. Selfie

45. Bullying

46. Queef

47. Malice

48. Praxis

49. Journaling

50. Being a Hag as Radical
Feminism in the Imperial Core