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Author: Colin Pfeiffer

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Cleaning up Your Puke

What happens to your vomit? Which magical little elves comes and clean it up, so when you groan your way out of bed, you don’t step in it on your way to class? The singularly important responsibility of cleaning up vomit belongs not to elves but regular people—the Princeton Grounds and Maintenance Crew.

by Colin Pfeiffer on October 19, 2005March 17, 2013

Nasty Culture

The President of Italy and his three friends, a Duke, a Magistrate and a Bishop, sit at the head of a table surrounded by teenage SS officers, a few older women, and about twenty young boys and girls. Some of the youths are dressed in suits and dresses, others in their underwear, while still others sit naked. A nude girl emerges from the kitchen with a large tray of steaming shit…
~and~
There is a neighborhood on the outskirts of a city with a lousy bar and grimy brick buildings and orange lamps in the alleys. There are towns where in the deep hours of night cars prowl the streets full of dumb menace. Vague criminals and edgy losers grope at women dressed in cheap finery and the sex is drunken and ugly and brief…

by Chris Arp on October 19, 2005March 17, 2013

Minorityjack

In a past life (i.e., one year ago), I was an undergraduate and an RA at WashU. It was kind of a big deal, thanks. But with that Big Deal came Big Responsibility—namely, diversity training. Unless you’re a complete asshole, … Read More

by Anuj Shah on October 19, 2005March 17, 2013

Bush’s New Environmentalism

Environmental science is a real buzz-kill. I never expected it to be all bird calls and daisies, or pictures of ponies, but in my high school class, we regularly sat through hour-long lectures that kicked off with informed statistics about … Read More

by Lisa Kelley on October 19, 2005March 17, 2013

Mr. Gates Comes to Call

Bill Gates descended on campus last Friday, and everyone in Richardson Auditorium had Microsoft founder’s rock star status impressed upon them. Audience members were greeted by a 21st century audio-visual display: two high-definition monitors and a gigantic projector screen, all … Read More

by Peter Landwehr on October 19, 2005March 17, 2013

Blinded by the Light

I had never heard of neo-futurism before seeing Theatre Intime’s production of “Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind.” I probably never would have heard of it and I probably will never hear of it again. From what I … Read More

by Zach Marr on October 19, 2005March 17, 2013

Polymorphously Hilarious

“If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out.” -Jesus, Matthew 18:8 “Your right eye is half-a-millimeter too high,” Dr. Christian Troy informs an aspiring model during the pilot-episode of Nip/Tuck. “And you have an Irish nose,” he quickly adds as … Read More

by Hal Parker on October 19, 2005March 17, 2013

Proof, Intime, & Music Reviews

Proof concludes with a slowly widening shot, changing in scope from intimate to omniscient until finally releasing us from the claustrophobia of the preceding 100-odd minutes…
The plays at the Second Annual 24-Hour Play Festival weren’t really produced in 24 hours…
~and~
Franz Ferdinand’s eponymous 2004 debut cemented them as the critically adored commercial kings of the retro rock revival movement, even if they arrived a bit late to the party…

by Dobel on October 12, 2005March 17, 2013

Earthquakes, Hurricanes, and the End of History

Some say the modern age began with an earthquake.
Why did it happen? Up until then, the going explanation had something to do with divine punishment – you suffer because of your sins.

by Elliot Ratzman on October 12, 2005March 17, 2013

Princeton Cemetery: Can You Dig It?

…The gravedigger’s laugh turns to hacking as he takes off his soiled gloves and exposes his hands, which are caked with cemetery earth…

Come closer, come closer (my pretty, my sweet): let me feel your weight on my chest, the rubber soles of your sneakers marking my skin pink. I feel you, lingering, some feet away—hesitant, glancing shyly at this patch of grass, not raising your eyes to the stone that marks it…

by Gross on October 12, 2005March 17, 2013

Dr. Murdoch, der Spieler

Lately, people have been asking me a lot where I’ve been for the past few days. Well it’s funny they should ask. Let me tell you, it all started when I remembered, on Thursday, that there were no new OC … Read More

by Anonymous on October 12, 2005March 17, 2013

A SILLY DAY FOR STUPIDS

Despite my repeated viewings of Sister Act (and, to be sure, Sister Act 2) in primary school, I cannot claim to be a religious scholar. I’m unable to name the apostles, though thanks to Whoopi Goldberg I know that Ringo … Read More

by Ali Sutherland-Brown on October 12, 2005March 17, 2013


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