“This snowfall is my final fantasy. Once America the woman was coming on my dick, her flag pin a pinhole to a world without strife. But then—” he sneezes. “Let me begin again. Terrorism. The weeping willow lowers her hair … Read More
In the last 30 days, the town of Princeton has searched for “robot unicorn attack” on average (that is as percentage of total traffic) 25 times as much as Seattle, 30 times as much as Boston and Los Angeles, and … Read More
Workers’ rights groups around the world celebrated an unprecedented victory last November in what had been an ongoing struggle between the workers of Honduras and Russell Athletics, the largest private employer in the country. Almost a year ago, Russell shut … Read More
Last year, the unlikely phrase “Hegel’s Bagels” appeared in this newspaper on two separate (although not unrelated) occasions: first, in the cover illustration; and second, as the title of an article. The article reported that the Princeton German Department had … Read More
If you haven’t seen _The Hurt Locker_ yet, don’t. Watch _Groundhog Day_ instead; it’s much better, and it will also give you a far better sense of what the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are like. That’s not an original … Read More
Next Monday, March 29, Princeton University will begin distributing Census forms to Frist Center mailboxes for students who live on campus. Students will also find another envelope in their mailbox that week, containing a short letter and a pink sticker … Read More
Big Star are sacred to me – a summer devotional, everything that John Cusack and Emilio Estevez could never be for me, a holy confessor and mentor. I would be surprised if that other late auteur of American adolescence, John … Read More
Our Art Therapy Breakout trip, led by sophomores Arielle Sandor and Sojung Yi, started not in Washington D.C. but along the way in Baltimore. The first day, before our group had even established strong ties, we found ourselves at the … Read More
Most people think Boulder is a ski-town. They are probably right. But in fifty years, I would not be surprised to hear that most people think Boulder is the Shangri-La of the fifty states. Can you imagine Lhasa transfigured into … Read More
As you might have guessed, the _Nassau Weekly_ is full of a bunch of super-nerds who are really into books and junk. To give you an indication of how into books they are, consider this: Every week, they have their … Read More
Rumor has it that at the Nass, there is a gap in the otherwise omniscient knowledge of the staff, and that that gap is called “sports.” Not so, ladies and gentlemen. Let me tell you a thing or two about … Read More