The Main Event

September 30, 2018

I Lied About Having A Bar Mitzvah

You might be left psychoanalyzing this one for years to come.

by on

With Precious Memories of Howard Friedman

A eulogy to an artist, a father, a husband and a man whose memories live on with his family.

by on

Princeton in Russia

“Every Princetonian knows that Nassau Hall cares about ethics—students have to swear on every test and quiz that they did not cheat. Less clear, though, is whether these standards apply to investments by Princeton’s $23 billion endowment.”

by on

Impressions of Istanbul

A country in flux; coffee shared over small, wooden tables and fortune telling.

by on

Gibraltar, an odd dream

For one last time during my two-month stay in Spain, I arrived at the Estepona bus station and sat on the metal bench outside with holes that always leave a circle mark on the back of my thighs. As I … Read More

by on

Time Piece

What’s said and left unsaid during the morning shift.

by on

Best Buddies

What separates us is nothing more than a bunk-bed ladder.

by on

Labor Day

Put me to sleep when September starts. Also, fold my white linen carefully, please.

by on

Babylon Berlin Review

A snapshot of a young republic in peril, and its lessons for our times.

by on

Verbatim

More →

Overheard in Frist

Gossiping table: I really forgot how crazy her face was.

Overheard in Friend

COS grad student: Just keep drinking coffee and writing code. You'll get through it.

Overheard in Ivy

Drunk Tigertone: Have anyone ever thought about how beautiful and complex American grammar is?

Overheard at TI

TI junior: I Juuled last week and literally had to go to confession.

Overheard in Ivy

Ivy SWUG, emphatically: Fuck the millipedes, they never gave us anything.

Overhead at Murray Dodge

German major: This university gave me a lot of money for going independent…it's all going to booze and cigarettes. *leaves to smoke*

Overhead in East Pyne

Junior German major: German is one of those languages I wish I knew.

Overheard at RoMa

Freshman 1: Having sex is such a struggle.
Freshman 2: Yeah, and you can't even practice jacking off because of your roommates.

Overheard in East Pyne

Film German major to Medieval German major: I can give you better depressed films than that.

Overheard at Terrace

Senior: Pot is s totally a study drug! I'm still here, aren't I?

Overheard at Cargot

Theta senior: If you get an average little I'm dropping.

Overheard on iMessage

Gentile frosh: Fuck Charter Friday.
Gentile frosh: Shabbat is where it’s at.

Overheard in Ivy

Fashionable Ivy senior: Carhartt is what the working people wear, the commoners.

Overheard at Starbucks

Junior woman wearing a United Nations hat: As a woman, I could never be with a man that was dumb.

Overheard on Nassau

Cannon junior: I don’t think I bickered him. I just bickered a lot of guys named Phil.

Overheard in Terrace

Northeastern Jewish man: Is that yogurt and granola?
Other man: Yeah
NJM: Um... fire.

Overheard at East Pyne courtyard

Girl on phone: Why can't we get someone famous, like Tina Fey? … Cory Booker did not matter.

Overheard in an intimate setting

Man: I just saw Batman's circumcised penis in a comic. Is that canon now?