Monday Funday

April 22, 2018

USG Gets Religion

“I reached out to one of the leaders of PFA to ask if they knew about the controversies around Gibson and his film but did not get a response.”

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The Loudest Voice You’ve Never Heard

“because of its distance from the more populous undergraduate portion of the University, many students today are unaware of the carillon’s existence. ‘I’m the loudest voice you’ve never heard,’ Lisa laments.”

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The Anonymous Tastemakers

“During a discussion of symbols in my writing seminar, a classmate referred to the sweatshirt, which they were wearing, as ‘a semiotic wonder.'”

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A review of You Were Never Really Here

Both squarely within and bushing the boundaries of Lynne Ramsey’s heralded artistries.

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The Nass Recommends!

A controversial experimental film and a streaming service you might know about but is being recommended for those that don’t.

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LEGS.

“Green grass./Blue skies./A faint haze distorting the figures”

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Verbatim

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Overhead in Roma

Social media editor: Hey, want to see this crazy bug bite on my ass?
Web editor: Sure.
Former web editor: I guess?
Social media editor: *lowers pants and underwear in the middle of rocky dhall*

Overheard in the Nass office

Editor: I saw Kendall Jenner outside a sweetgreen in TriBeCa... what’s your favorite sweetgreen?

Overheard in TI

Senior man: Are you drunk? You smell like beer.
Senior female: That does not us drunk make.

Overheard in a newsroom

Neurotic copy editor, on the death of print journalism: Do you hear me in the distance, screaming? Cause I’M DOING IT!!

Overheard in Wilson

Canada Goose-wearing Nass editor: I honestly can't think of a better 20th-century leader than Fidel.

Overheard en route to Funday

Sophomore Theta 1: My biggest fear is failure.
Sophomore Theta 2: Mine is chlamydia.

Overheard in precept

"Cool Kid" preceptor: They see everyone else doing binge drinking… wait. "Doing binge drinking." I promise I'm a cool kid!

Overheard in Cuyler

Press Club Co-President: I don't think I ever really learned how to write an essay.

Overhead at Terrace

Overachieving sophomore: Academic Masochism. . . that's my kink.

Overheard in Terrace

Manic pixie dream girl: Everyone knew the code so it was basically unlocked. The code was 42069.

Overheard at a Nass meeting

Former Nass EIC: Every white girl loves Lil Dicky!!

Overheard at Ivy

Overachieving boarding school frosh: Cocaine is just so good for my GPA.

Overheard in Terrace

Small-town soph, reminiscing: That’s really all you need -- a good, sexist high school boyfriend.

Overheard in Rocky

Franzia-drunk Ivy soph: And I was like, “This is a smoothie from the Wa -- where’s the Tico’s??”

Overheard on campus

Ivy Junior, seemingly deep in the JP grind: Wow, look at this halved cabbage!

Overheard in 185 Nassau:

VIS professor: Think: professionally lit rave.

Overheard on Poe Field

Ivy soon, screaming: CAPITALISM IS WAY MORE FUN