Exhausted Senior: I thought the fire alarm was my alarm, so I just kept trying to sleep through the noise.
Walker: “I think that I’m lowkey a Sisyphus kinnie.”
Walker: I think that I’m like, lowkey a Sisyphus kinnie.
Guy asking me to invest $600: “Cryptocurrency is the future!” Me: “I just feel like it is made up.” Same guy: “Money is made up by the government!”
Student after a night at Terrace: “It was annoying talking to him, so I hooked up with him instead.”
Google Calendar Warrior: I don’t have time for lunch today but you can walk with me from New South to East Pyne between 10:50 and 11:00 if you want to talk.
Freshman: Should I start meditating or get a klonopin prescription?
Discerning mentor: You should be thankful if you get someone that is 5’6 on Princeton Campus. Needs help: I can’t tell how tall he actually is because he wears Doc Martens.
Girl 1: I’ve been buying so many clothes on my mom’s credit card Girl 2: Doesn’t she mind? Girl 1: It’s okay, I buy smaller things in-between so she doesn’t notice the big purchases when she looks at the statement.
Bro 1: “I love to eat pussy.” Bro 2: “I love the smell of laundry.”
Christian Group, to unsuspecting student: “Do you want prayer?”
Oblivious onlooker: “Everyone looks so happy out on the grass!” Observant onlooker: “I think they’re protesting.”