Unrequited Love

February 19, 2023

Unrequited Love: Full Design

This week, the Nass investigates the future of art, probes at prosopagnosia, and contemplates a cure for heartsickness.


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Overheard in a bus

Fan-fic addict: “I know you're not into explicit gay sex, but I'm going to recommend something that has… a lot of it.”

Overheard in a decrepit quad

Broke college students: “What if we sold Pickle Me Elmo?”

Overheard at NCW

Bridesmaid: “It's gonna be the straightest thing I've participated in. She's fully marrying a man.”

Overheard talking about sports you did as a child

Unabashed sadomasochist: “Did you ever play the game where you squeeze the lemons in each other’s eyes?”

Overheard in Firestone

Serious student: “Alright, enough messing around. I’m resorting to lo-fi.”

Overheard at Schouse

Consultant boy: “It’s not union busting, it’s strategic realignment to maximize shareholder value.”

Overheard trying to look straight

Gay junior: “I don’t know. You just sort of have a gay face.”

Overheard in NCW

Navigator of befuddled aspirations: “Yeah.. I was at a pregame last week and like, we just sat around and talked — there was no, like, activity…so I guess it was just like, a networking pregame?”

Overheard over pork rinds and milkshakes

Person who has walked many paths in life: “I beat the former prime minister of Palestine at a game of trivia.”

Overheard while watching The Last of Us

Apocalypse Advocate, dreamily: “If the apocalypse happened in our time, we would barely remember capitalism.”

Overheard in Addy hall

Race Theorist: “White guys love talking to Black people. It makes them feel cool.”

Overheard in RoMa dining hall

Student who's in over his head: “I make literary references so people think I'm clever.”

Overheard in the Gender & Sexuality Resource Center

Girl: “All the eating clubs are bad…the Blackest music they know is Starships.”

Overheard in a Slightly Drunk Room

Friend after hearing an acquaintance's name: ‘That sounds like a pornstar name for colonialism.”

Overheard in the Architecture Library

Former Ivy bickeree: “Other than us, who do you think has the richest interior life?”