March 26, 2023


This week, the Nass triumphs athletically, fails intellectually, and eats the entire lemon.


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Overheard in the Newark Airport

Grunge frosh, reading Dante: “This feels like Bob Dylan.”

Overheard in an eating club

Flushed partygoer: “We look like we’ve been drinking, but really we’re just sweaty from air hockey.”

Overheard in a Chaste Newsroom

Resigned reporter: “The sex scandal is that I haven’t had sex.”

Overheard in Firestone

Thesising senior: “We’ll see if I become a raging fiend of productivity in the next thirty minutes.”

Overheard at Terrace

Dedicated student: "Sometimes I sit out in the cold and don't let myself get warm until I'm done with my reading."

Overheard at Small World

Encouraging professor to grad student: “You could do a study of the healing effects of coffee shops!”

Overheard on a philosophical evening

History major: “I will say, the French were PRETTY atheist once they got over being pretty Catholic.”

Overheard in an intimate friendship

Sex-starved senior: “Do you ever get an orgasm when you figure out a good transition in your thesis?”

Overheard at Forbes

Second-year premed: “I couldn’t figure out how to fit my life into a writing sem formula and it almost broke me.”

Overheard at Small World

Economics grad student: “Look at it this way… rich people always want more houses!”

Overheard in Firestone

Gay 1: “She's wavering on Terrace, I've heard.”

Gay 2: “We can't let that happen. We can't.”

Overheard in a food kitchen

Vindictive volunteer: “I’m not really a community service type of girl.”

Overheard on a Thursday

Marxist: “One of my great contradictions is that I have populist airs but read the New York Book Review.”

Overheard while making evening plans

Fearful fun-seeker: “We can’t go to a dive bar. What if somebody asks me to arm wrestle?”

Sympathetic friend: “That will probably happen.”

Fearful fun-seeker: “Fine. Let me get a pump in.”

Overheard on iMessage

Newly single girl: “What’s the deal with the male gaze these days? What are you guys into?”

Man with gaze: “A woman wearing something shiny or maybe having something jangly like keys will catch my attention twice as often as a conventionally beautiful woman.”