100 Reasons I Can’t Have Sex With You Tonight
My mom has the key to my chastity belt.
Corpse Diem
We will all be worm food
So fuck each other wildly
With Teeth
You can go suck a fuck.
What They Know
You don’t know that they know, too. You don’t know that they know that there’s that spot that if you brush it the right way reduces me to goose bumps.
“Marry Me” St. Vincent
When Pitchfork asked Annie Clark, better known by her stage name St. Vincent, how she celebrated winning a Grammy for her self-titled album St. Vincent, she responded, “I just took a shower. [Laughs.] I’m having a coffee with cocoa.”
Telescoping Bodies
A young man is standing 2 m from the edge of a cliff that overlooks the ocean. The distance between the top of the cliff and the water below is 12 m.
Modem Love
He was online, and I could tell because the green light was buzzing next to his name and profile picture.
Manscaping
Before my senior year of high school, I had relegated the concept of manscaping to metrosexual metropolises like New York and Los Angeles.
The Disappearing Nude
Last month, most of Princeton’s eating clubs eliminated nudity from their initiations festivities. The club graduate boards, composed largely of aging men, probably dressed in long robes, decided that nudity is not in fact an unalienable right, but rather a nuisance and a liability.