Coughy Club

October 3, 2021

On Imperfect Apples, Mosquito Bites, and the Consciousness of Worms

“I like to believe our small acts make a difference, or maybe I just want to be a savior.”

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Coughy Club – Full Design

This week, the Nass learns about acupuncture, melts into absurdity, and takes a break to eat apples.

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“Absurd Regularity” : Nass Recommends Regular Show

A Nass writer reflects on a beloved cartoon.

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In Defense of Sports

Wherein the writer defends one of our greatest national obsessions.

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My Korean Medicine

“Just sit back and surround yourself with the stories I have to share about acupuncture, cupping, and pricking.”

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Dogflesh

“There is one conclusion then: these are not dogs barking in the street. If they were dogs, I would not be afraid.”

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20 Fun Get-to-Know-You Questions for the Start of the School Year

Everything you need to break the ice.

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Palmer Square

White dude: I just want to get married, I want a cigar bar, and I want five kids. Other than that, I don't give a shit.

Overheard at Terrace

Someone who likes the French Revolution a little too much: Why can’t we just turn all of the churches into temples of reason again?

Overheard at Wu

White boy: I think my high school teacher died of a heart attack brought on by white guilt.

Other white boy: That’s how I’m gonna go out.

Overheard in the U-Store at 11pm

Football player 1: Yeah it’s gonna be in the 70s for the game tomorrow.

Football player 2: What?!

Football player 1: Just learn Fahrenheit dude

Overheard at secret society apartment

Male junior: I want to kamikaze-bomb the Woodrow Wilson School… in Minecraft.

Overheard in East Pyne

Passionate Philosophy Student: Nowadays you can't go around saying you agree with Freud or everyone will think you wanna fuck your mom! I don't wanna fuck my mom—my dad is MUCH hotter!

Overheard at Dinner

Frosh wearing a Princeton shirt: I hate this school. Fuck Princeton.

Junior: Wow, look, an edgy freshman.

Overheard at 2D

Senior French major: I think I'm turned on by math.

Senior Comp Lit major: I fell asleep reading a blog about mathematical sequences.

Overheard at Terrace

Well-dressed girlboss: He thought I was a lesbian because I wanted to play CS: GO with him.

Overheard in bedroom

Student: *minds her own business*

Spotted lanternfly: *lands on student's arm*

Student: DIE BASTARD *sprays with Windex*

Overheard at Late Night Study Session

Neuro Major: I smell at a different frequency.

Overheard during Study Group

Atheist: Well that sounds like bullshit. Back to the word of God!

Overheard in Blair Arch

Sad Junior after spilling Pedialyte on himself: *Kermit voice* Mistakes were made.