Birth of Shakuntala

April 8, 2004

Irrational Cupid, Rational Man

I like to ask long-term couples where and how they met—always a good remedy to a boring conversation. My best friend met his wife through friends. After the second date, they knew they were going to get married.

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The Road to Confidence Goes through Cancun

I’d seen the shows and the movies. I’d been there three times before. I’d even written a play that took place there. But nothing really prepared me for my trip to Cancun this Spring Break.

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Italy Sans the Gypsies, Whores and Pickpockets

Attending Spettacolo! is like attending any number of Midwestern dinner theaters—the crowd’s mostly composed of silver-maned pensioners, the actors’ accents are comically bad and the plot is full of slapstick, “audience participation,” and a high degree of fuzzy-wuzzyness.

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Hellboy

I really want to like Hellboy. Not only is it based on a comic book, it’s also about a monster-fighting demon, government cover-ups, and occult Nazi magic.

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Poems

Dear Julia, our discussion regarding why ants
can lift up such relatively massive bits of plants
was inconclusive. So was our fitful tête à tête.

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Encomium Morae: A Declamation

Given Princeton’s academic rigor, I am appalled to see that it lacks any formal instruction in my divine art. Rather than forcing tomorrow’s brightest minds to learn my science on the streets, I have resolved to outline a few basic principles.

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Verbatim

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Overheard at Terrace

Sophomore Girl: I am not a slut!  The only people I hook up with are bicker club officers.

Overheard in the Cottage bathroom

Girl 1: Girl 2, let's go to Cottage!
Girl 2: We are in Cottage.

Overheard during a seder

Neurotic Jew 1: I hear that Mel Gibson wants to make a movie about the Maccabees....
Neurotic Jew 2: That bastard.

Overheard in Little Hall

Girl: I've heard it's kind of weird
after you jerk off...you pee kinda
funny.
Boy: Oh yeah, that's because
there's extra residue of jizz in there
that's get sticky and clogged up
a bit, unless you've gotten completely
sucked off. Then the pipes
are clean.
[Uncomfortable pause]
Boy: Oh, I love my pipes clean!

Overheard at the last ICC meeting in reference to Dean Flores-Mills

Guy: She cooks, too? Oh man, I
would defi nitely...I might have to
tap that.