Beach Week

April 29, 2017

Bluma

“The best thing about Bluma was that there was never a lull or an awkward silence–she always had something to say.”

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Take Control of Your Body, Smash the Patriarchy

“In December of last year, I finally looked into alternatives. Part of that might have been motivated by an uptick in national conversations around accessible birth control, and part of it might have been that more of my friends were having these conversations too.”

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Peer Review

Since the beginning of time, editors at The Nassau Weekly have taken their pens to each other’s Common Application essays…

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Raise the Lid

“I was playing loud jazz in J Street.”

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Princeton Mime Club

After thirty years, one student revives the Princeton Mime Club

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Grandmother’s Cooking

Feels like home, tastes like childhood

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Firestone

Nass editor, Hamlet fan, pencil aficionado: 2B or not 2B...

Overheard at the Met Opera

Desperate Austrian military general, using his best pick-up line: I can be virile in any alcove.

Overheard in Cafe Viv

White COS major demonstrating with Google Earth: I’m trying to find a city. *zooms in on Africa* Oh no, let’s go to a more civilized location… *scrolls away*

Overheard at Terrace

Terrace alum/community auditor, class of '61: The first thing I learned when I got to Princeton was that not all the goyim are dumb!

Overheard via iMessage

DC wasp: I’m the hottest youngest person at the Chevy Chase Whole Foods.

Overheard in McCosh 50

Cecily Strong: I'm actually not as badass as I looked on CSPAN.

Overheard in NYC

Mudboy: I was like I'm sorry I can't go home with you. I have to finish the Prospect 11.

Overheard in Bank Street

Senior Cap dude: I love those moments when you get distracted by your anger at the center left.

Overheard at Starbucks

First-year girl: Is it weird that I am aroused by my own handwriting?

Overheard at Terrace

Male, on professor: I hate him. He makes so many sexist comments. But I guess they don't directly affect me so it's fine.

Overheard at the Fields Center

Chill and diverse girl: I need to change my profile picture, Obama's been in it for too long.

Overheard in the East Asian Library

Pi Phi: Here are some things I care about but have done nothing about: gun control.

Overheard at Cap

Chill and diverse girl: I need to change my profile picture, Obama's been in it for too long.

Overheard in Pyne

Girl, to Nass editor: Watch this part, it reminds me of you.
Comedic genius Ali Wong: I've accidentally slept with two homeless people.

Overheard via iMessage

Alum 1: Did he go to Harvard?
Alum 2, joking but not joking: No, he went to Columbia! He's a man of the people!

Overheard in Patton

Aesthete: Is that Jesus or Joseph?
Art History senior: Joseph - Jesus wasn't a shepherd.
Aesthete: What about, "the Lord is my shepherd?"
Art history senior: That's a metaphorical shepherd.

Overheard in Whitman

Socially conscious bro: No...come on. If I do consulting it'll be non-profit consulting.

Overheard in Ivy

Junior, pondering the future: But then you have to think… is one nanny enough for three kids?