April Showers

April 2, 2023

April Showers: Full Design

This week, the Nass hassles its way into a Miami club, where the room smells like gasoline and the music sounds like Dante.


More →

Overheard during early, unplanned drinking

Friend 1: Is it good?

Friend 2: It's really good.

Friend 1: Really Good?

Friend 2: Yes. Yes yes. Yes!

Friend 1: You're buzzed.

Friend 2: No, I'm BASED

Overheard during spring break debrief

Proud roommate: I drank, gambled, and smoked my way through four Eastern European countries.

Overheard in front of the Office of Religious Life

Prospective father: "If someone presented me with a baby right now, I would eat it."

Overheard in Bridges lab

Self-described “rescue person” in a ponytail and a cape: “Call me Robin Hood, the way I steal from the Whit and give to the Forbes!”

Overheard on Prospect

Cooked sophomore: "I'm sorry I’m into tall, presidential women."

Overheard while discussing a spoiled book character

Professor: It's giving silver spoon.

Overheard walking to class

Proselytizing man: Do you understand the legal implications of why Jesus had to die?

Overheard in Addy Coffee Club

Ivy Member: I *am* against abuse.

Overhead in the NCW dining hall

Intellectual international student: America tastes fake. I say it in all honesty.

Overheard on bus to Princeton

Rural chauvinist: Oh, you go to Princeton? Name three white alcoholics in Cap & Gown.

Overheard in Roma

Girl wearing a big gold cross: “Big news. I’m dating the French guy in my class.”

Friend: “The annoying one?”

Girl: “No, the other one. We talked so much about the Bible.”

Overheard in East Pyne

Professor of Music: The amount of musicians that came out of law school…it's the greatest conservatory!

Overheard in NCW

Pensive German Major, on Twitter nemesis: I wonder if I could get her kicked out of Stanford

Overheard outside Patton Hall

Recently handsome man: Everyone keeps telling me that my haircut looks nice, but I didn’t get a haircut…

Real friend: …

Recently handsome man: It’s just growing out.

Real friend: Oh, so they just haven’t seen you in a while.

Recently handsome man: Yeah, and I guess they didn’t like my haircut before.