Dear Readers, Have you stopped to think about the biblical roots of idiocy? The disciples really were the prototypes for the moron in front of you at the supermarket who takes so long to write a check that you can actually see her hair follicles growing. But don’t get angry, just think about what Jesus…

We recently got an email from Barack Obama. We had to dig it out of the spam filter, but we did get it. “Dear Nassau Weekly,” it read. “This morning, Michelle and I awoke to some surprising and humbling news. At 6 a.m., we received word that I’d been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize and…

Dear Chancellor Green Café, A couple of days ago—I’m sure you remember; it was only a couple of days ago, just work with me here—I sat down to skim the rest of a Faulkner short story in the three-and-a-half minutes I had before lecture, when I was interrupted by the music you were playing. Can…

Dear All, Sometimes we make mistakes. Most of the time they are small– like forgetting to wipe before we get in the shower or eating too much at dinner. Sometimes, however, these mistakes are rather large. Like having sex with an ex-significant other when extremely drunk or putting out our cigarettes in someone’s eye. The…

Allies, Enemies, and Non-Combatants, It is with great fanfare and pleasure that we bring you this, the third issue of our tenure as Editors-in-Chief. This week you’ll find a portrait of former Senator Majority Leader Bill Frist ’74, an analysis of the “Education City” in Qatar, musings on Dan Deacon and, in the centerfold, an…

Dearest Nasslings: Welcome to Starbucks Coffee™ Presents: the Nassau Weekly’s Corporate, Consulting, Crass Consumer Culture Issue. We’ve made a wonderful friend from Seattle with a bone-crushing handshake, and boy-oh-boy if we aren’t rolling in it this week. Now served up: a rich, steamy Triangle Club exposé penned by a current member; a piping-hot review of…

1. The popular Dirty Southern rap term “Crunk” has it’s origin in the early 1960s. Jewish pharmacist’s would ask young men “bist du krank?” or “are you sick?” when they purchased a dozen bottles of cough syrup. Presumably, the young men answered “yes, I am krank.” 2. Diane Keaton’s role in the Woody Allen film…

Correction