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Princeton’s Ten Hottest Freshmen
What follows is an unranked list of ten of the most beautiful freshmen at Princeton, as chosen by us and based on a survey of approximately four upperclassmen girls.
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Teloveision
Harvey is 82. He is a former member of the Welsh Guard who wears a dandelion on his lapel, and he is “not ready to give up on love or life.” This is why he is here, on my screen, a participant in the British Channel 4 reality show “First Dates.”
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A Letter from the PC Brigade
Dear students, I am a representative of your local branch of the Political Correctness Brigade.
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Across the Political Pond
You’re in America, you’re busy, you don’t have time to keep up with politics all over the world. There are a lot of parties, a lot of elections. Who can follow all of them?
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Sophie’s Namesake
I was named in a fit of impatience. My brother Toby was six years old and frustrated that my parents referred to little unborn me only as “the baby.” Inspired by the book he was reading, one day he asked, “Can we just call her Sophie?” And so they did.
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40.36° South 105.3° East
You have walked through FitzRandolph Gate, and you will never graduate. You keep walking until you hit the shore.
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Customers Who Bought This
I don’t like it when you use my Amazon account. My recommendations are getting stranger and stranger and I know it’s because of you. You should remember that it tells me which items are bought together—and, honestly, you have some explaining to do.
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The Great Debate
President Christopher Eisgruber is reclining in the middle seat of a long table, looking as relaxed as I’ve seen him and wearing a mortarboard with an impressive tassle. Famed history professor Julian Zelizer is here too, sitting with famed improviser Adam Mastroianni ’14, so already the fame count in the room is too high for…
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Eyes on the Skies
To telescope is to slide concentric components within themselves, to shrink sequentially, to densen. It is also a means of interstellar discovery, of flooding, of applying pressure. In the succeeding entries, we telescope the weather by precipitating and saturating our memories. Each succeeding memory of a series is composed in exactly half the number of…
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Melancholia
Dr. Michaels usually remembered to take off his white coat before he went into Allison’s room, and today was not an exception. He put it on one of the nicer hangers and made sure the name tag on his breast pocket was clearly visible when the closet door was opened.
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The Sun in His Pocket
Silvio Berlusconi still believes in himself. His doctors say that he is “almost immortal.” His story is not over.