Princeton peaked at new levels of saccharine-sweet this past Friday, April 29th. Some of you woke up at 4:45 AM to watch William and Kate’s Royal Wedding (4:45? why?!). And some of you wandered haplessly into Frist intending to get pizza for lunch, only to find an elaborate cake-building show in full swing.

“The hellest job,” Mike Souza says, was making 20 super-thin cigar-shaped nuclear target cells in his glassblowing shop in the basement of Princeton’s Hoyt Laboratory.

Imagine you are at a party on another planet. You have a guidebook about alien behaviors. (It is far less comprehensive than the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.) The first alien you meet is female. You introduce yourself, as the guidebook suggests. Her skin turns a pinkish tinge. She looks away, then looks back. She…

I consider myself a functional narcoleptic. (It’s undiagnosed, no offense to all you diagnosed non-functional narcoleptics). If I have a 10:00 AM class, I wake up at 9:10, shower, dress, take a ten-minute nap, then dash out the door.