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Byline: Chris Arp

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Slouching Towards the Television

My favorite thing to do is to lie on my back. When things need to be moved, say a piece of trash that is fermenting under my feet, I grunt and push it aside with my toe. My least favorite … Read More

by Chris Arp on March 7, 2007March 17, 2013

Week in Review

The 80th Academy Awards were like the 4th of July. You hear fireworks, and think perhaps to go to the window, but on second thought decide to keep on sitting on the couch. You’ve seen fireworks, but at this point … Read More

by Chris Arp on February 28, 2008March 17, 2013

A Visit to the Dead Sea Scrolls

So I was cold lounging with my niece in Seattle, just sitting, watching Dora the Explorer and shooting the shit. My niece is nearly a year old, so her opinions are not quite as developed or polished as they could be, but she’s got some thoughts and a taste for the higher things.

by Chris Arp on November 29, 2006March 17, 2013

A Good Movie For You To See

By far the best film of 2005 was Werner Herzog’s mind-altering Grizzly Man. Those who disagree should go out and rent it again. Good, huh? I know. I liked it too.

by Chris Arp on November 15, 2006March 17, 2013

Letter from the Editors

It would seem the mad dash to fill the Nass’s literary issue might best warrant a clandestine mafia negotiation; by this logic, the editors (in fedoras and spats, sure, and affecting a Sicilian shtick) would send out coercive e-mails to … Read More

by Chris Arp on May 1, 2007March 17, 2013

Nasty Culture

The President of Italy and his three friends, a Duke, a Magistrate and a Bishop, sit at the head of a table surrounded by teenage SS officers, a few older women, and about twenty young boys and girls. Some of the youths are dressed in suits and dresses, others in their underwear, while still others sit naked. A nude girl emerges from the kitchen with a large tray of steaming shit…
~and~
There is a neighborhood on the outskirts of a city with a lousy bar and grimy brick buildings and orange lamps in the alleys. There are towns where in the deep hours of night cars prowl the streets full of dumb menace. Vague criminals and edgy losers grope at women dressed in cheap finery and the sex is drunken and ugly and brief…

by Chris Arp on October 19, 2005March 17, 2013

Grandmother

My grandmother was a pirate. The other was an astronaut. She would have been, anyway, had she not failed her medical exam due to large traces of cocaine in her bloodstream. She was also a drug runner across the border, much to the shame of my father and uncle.

by Chris Arp on April 27, 2005March 17, 2013

Date Movie

Last week a movie called Date Movie, presumably because it concerns dating or perhaps one particular date, was released nationwide. It is the brainchild of the same team of writers behind Scary Movie and Scary Movie 2. This is also … Read More

by Chris Arp on February 22, 2006March 17, 2013

The Mystery Behind the Music Man

Last month, senior music major Steve Eaton presented his thesis composition. The performance was broken into two sections. In the first, the audience sat in typical fashion, facing the musicians as they played. The last piece of the first section was two minutes long. The song consisted of one chord, played once and sustained over the duration of the piece. The movement of the song was all in the flux and change of the chord as the wavelengths gradually distended, warped, and eventually faded.

by Chris Arp on April 25, 2007March 17, 2013

Erotic Comics

On the eve of World War I, an aged Alice checks into a Swiss hotel, carrying with her a large looking glass. Next door, Wendy, still reminiscing over Peter Pan, lies side by side with her dry, buttoned-up husband. Later … Read More

by Chris Arp on January 11, 2007March 17, 2013

Tilty

Tilty Gringot frowns at the fresh face of the morning and draws shut the curtains. He is an ambler and a shuffler, Tilty, and as he walks from the window to the kitchen small flurries of dust obscure his feet … Read More

by Chris Arp on May 11, 2006March 17, 2013


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