Tilty Gringot frowns at the fresh face of the morning and draws shut the curtains. He is an ambler and a shuffler, Tilty, and as he walks from the window to the kitchen small flurries of dust obscure his feet … Read More
Last week a movie called Date Movie, presumably because it concerns dating or perhaps one particular date, was released nationwide. It is the brainchild of the same team of writers behind Scary Movie and Scary Movie 2. This is also … Read More
My father is a newsman, and during the election season he heads down to D.C. to do reporting. When Rumsfeld resigned, I knew that he would be thrilled. Donald Rumsfeld is one of my father’s least favorite Americans. When I … Read More
It would seem the mad dash to fill the Nass’s literary issue might best warrant a clandestine mafia negotiation; by this logic, the editors (in fedoras and spats, sure, and affecting a Sicilian shtick) would send out coercive e-mails to … Read More
Cinema O.K., so I’m a bit of a film snob. I’ll just put it out there; it’s not as if my pretension is intentional as I, say, swirl my martini in my East Village loft and carry on sotto voce … Read More
You know what we’re bored of? Everything that isn’t a Nassau Weekly Lifestlyes Issue. But a Nassau Weekly Lifestyles Issue, now that, that is something we can get excited about! You might be asking: what are these new-fangled lifestyles? Do … Read More
The 80th Academy Awards were like the 4th of July. You hear fireworks, and think perhaps to go to the window, but on second thought decide to keep on sitting on the couch. You’ve seen fireworks, but at this point … Read More
So I was cold lounging with my niece in Seattle, just sitting, watching Dora the Explorer and shooting the shit. My niece is nearly a year old, so her opinions are not quite as developed or polished as they could be, but she’s got some thoughts and a taste for the higher things.
My favorite thing to do is to lie on my back. When things need to be moved, say a piece of trash that is fermenting under my feet, I grunt and push it aside with my toe. My least favorite … Read More
My grandmother was a pirate. The other was an astronaut. She would have been, anyway, had she not failed her medical exam due to large traces of cocaine in her bloodstream. She was also a drug runner across the border, much to the shame of my father and uncle.
Hi, this is Danny Aiello, I was the guy talking to your sister this afternoon around 4:30, the Elvis? Listen, I just wanted to ask you if you could tell her to give me a call because well, as you … Read More