Rumor has it that at the Nass, there is a gap in the otherwise omniscient knowledge of the staff, and that that gap is called “sports.” Not so, ladies and gentlemen. Let me tell you a thing or two about … Read More
Joanna Newsom must be the most enigmatically fascinating figure in indie music today. Though she’s shrouded in a barely-tangible sense of cultured innocence—her closeness with her astrophysicist and musician siblings, her compositions and lyricism refined by academia yet bejeweled with … Read More
Since the turn of the twentieth century, admission into America’s most elite colleges has always been a straightforward matter of selling out. The days when pure wit garnered fresh high school graduates passage into the academic aristocracy have faded like … Read More
Oscar Hyde having provided you, in his nefariously multifarious style, with all the juicy historical context you could possibly desire [see prior article], I find myself relieved of the standard duty to explain that “Newsom has two parents” and “Newsom … Read More
This past summer, before even stepping foot on Nassau Street, saying bye to my parents, or buying my twin extra-long dorm sheets at Bed Bath and Beyond, I got my first peek into to college life. This peek was through … Read More
In Philip Roth’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 1998 novel _American Pastoral_, his protagonist, a Jew named Seymour Levov who goes by the nickname “the Swede,” sees his life turned upside down when his daughter turns terrorist and blows up a post office. … Read More
Almost four years ago I attended a symposium featuring rapper Talib Kweli that focused on hip-hop’s responsibility to the community at large. What sticks out in my mind is a joke told by Mr. Talib (lyrics stick to your ribs). … Read More
It is with tremendous sadness that I report on the passing of a great American hero. On February 26, 2010, the Hummer passed away in Sichuan Tengzheng’s botched attempt to purchase the brand from General Motors.
Late last month, WPRB News sat down with General David Petraeus, commander of United States Central Command and recent recipient of Princeton’s James Madison Medal, to discuss military issues in the Middle East, from the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq … Read More
Dear Readers,
How pleased we are to have you! Come, come. Feel our warm, papery embrace. It is cozy in here, whether you use our pages for pleasure, insulation, or as toilet paper.
Author’s Note: Around 90% of the text of this story is taken verbatim from Wikipedia articles on various famous Princeton alumni, after Kenneth Goldsmith’s lecture and seminar “Uncreative Writing.” If you are curious to know from which alumnus certain details … Read More