Staffer of Brotherly Love: “I know nothing about football except ‘Go birds.’”
Anxious frosh guy: “DC? I’ve been to every museum on the National Mall…”
Eager blonde: “Well, I’ve—“
Anxious frosh guy: “Twice.”
Sustainable fashion advocate: With micro bangs you’d be the intersection of baby girl, cutie patootie, and little munchkin
Surprised friend: Woah! I thought you were holding Bananagrams, but it's actually just a banana.
Stoner German major: "There’s kinda beef between the Benjamin and Adorno fandoms."
Frosh taking care of drunk friend: I've been around a lot of people who have been McCoshed or PMCed and he is not at that point yet
Scholarly Grammarian: I can’t take another erotic poetry course, I already took one on Sappho!
Harvard alum: “I didn't think anything of Mark Zuckerberg, he was just in my CS24 class.”
Irish poetry scholar: “The thing about me is I know for a FACT that Fintan O’Toole is a bisexual.”
Gamer guy, walking on gravel: This sounds just like breaking a Minecraft dirt block.
Smut reader: Don’t ruin this pear for me
Nass newcomer: I should probably submit a verbottom
Sophomore, possible bassist: When I think of my bedroom, I think of sticky and sweaty.
Resolute socialist: Watching the GOP debate with the college republicans right now.
Friend: How's that going?
Socialist: Holding in my scoffs of indignation
Bystander: I’ve seen people do CRAZY things with nine volt batteries
Friend, whispering: Okay, your dad’s good-looking but he’s not a smokeshow.
Good guy: Growing up in the Bay Area, they made us eat pronoun cookies and critical race pizza after school.
Wise junior: I need someone who would break up with me if I even considered going into consulting.