Overheard in Frist

Woke PTL philosophy major: The patriarchy is IN Frist.

Context: Overheard outside 1879

Intellectual 1: Dude, how many light years away is the nearest, like, gas station?
Intellectual 2: Like, several?

Overheard in the East Asian Library

Girl at front desk, loudly: My grandma was like, “You’re next” and I was like, “Sure. Keep waiting, Grandma. Not happening.”

Overheard at an eating club

Sophomore man, after being invited to dinner at Winberie's: Is this a fancy place? Because I have khaki shorts in my bag…

Overheard at Passover Seder:

Junior SHARE peer, on 17-year-old Billie Eilish: That girl is SO thicc!

Overheard on GenderEquality listserv

Girl: Hello, Can you please remove me from this listserv? Thanks.

Overheard while sharing break-up stories

Girl, describing stoic ex-boyfriend: He should have been fucking sobbing because I'm a delight.

Overheard at an eating club on Easter Sunday

Senior man: Jesus was probably a Chi Phi.

Overheard in art history class

Anthropology junior, to professor: I really like your shirt today.
Professor, bewildered: Thank you. [Pause. Then, half-laughing and bringing hands to face.] I don't know if this is something you should say to a professor. It makes me blush.

Overheard outside Walker

Exasperated girl: I went to four post offices today and had to take six Ubers.

Overheard in the Joseph Henry House

HUM student, in a precept about Nietzsche: "There should be no shame in relishing the kill."

Overheard in 1879 Hall

Preceptor, skeptically: Is a human being the same as a person?

Overheard in writing sem

Freshman who's just over it: I just don't understand what a local motive is.

Overheard in Lewis Library

19-year old: Yeah, I would definitely get with a 70 year old.

Overheard at Terrace

Terrace shaman: I organise the carbonated water in my fridge based on level of carbonation -- there’s obviously a difference between lightly carbonated, mid-carbonated, and highly carbonated water.

Overheard at Cottage lunch

Person #1: You can get your stomach pumped, but you just can’t unsmoke a Tide pod.

Overheard in Bloomberg 044

Former junior editor: David Foster Wallace is a pretty insightful guy.

Overheard on Prospect

Pre-frosh: Yeah, we just went to Tiger Inn but everyone there was asleep.

Overheard in Walker

White girl: Oh my god, why are you licking?

Overheard at Cafe Viv

Wawa frosh: I can't eat fruit on campus. I have to go to the local farmer's market every Sunday.

Overheard at Thai Village

Earnest foodie: Is crack vegan?

Overheard in RoMa

First-year, thoughtfully and earnestly: All my friends at other schools are getting hazed right now, and, you know, it'll kinda be cool to be part of it

Overheard at Boston College on Marathon Monday

Washed up athlete, reminiscing: Yeah, he was an alcoholic... so that was cool.

Overheard in 1927

Woke ORFE bro: The Honor Code is essentially denying evolution.

Overheard on a path outside Bloomberg

Visibly upset girl, walking alone: Man, fuck the Catholics! God damn it!