Previously Verbatim-ed Sophomore French Student: *coughs*
Professor: "Be careful, or you'll be back in the Nassau Weekly."
Nass Sophomore: There's this girl writing about climate protest music.
Non-Nass Sophomore: That's so college.
Senior man crushing junior woman's dreams: He's not athletic; he's in Wawa United.
Cannon Junior: Why does eduroam work better here than in my room?
Asian man, resigning himself to Colonial: I have too many p-sets to do to defy stereotypes.
German Major: Isn't White Claw just spiked La Croix??
Other German Major: You're the reason society is a simulation.
UK Fellowships Applicant: In theory, I always thought I would sell out, but I'm shocked that I haven't in practice.
Soph 1: I’ve decided we HAVE to go to Oktoberfest this year.
Soph 2: Is that at Charter?
Pre-Law senior: I wanna be a public defender, but I look like an eleven year old.
Preceptor, summarizing the field of psychology: You're either anxious or you're depressed.
Non-Christian explaining the Reformation: They read the Bible and then some people were like, "Hey, we should dunk ourselves more."
Ex-Nass junior while stroking his attempt at a moustache: I've gotta say, I think TI is the wokest club now.
Deep-voiced man to woman, matter-of-fact-ly: Did you know the Tory has an advice column called 'Ask Anselm?'