Is anyone else getting TikToks about the CIA documents about alternate timelines and energy holograms or is it just me?
First Year Girl, to her friend: I shouldn't have gone halfway through the semester before I realized I could get the guys to do my work.
Disgruntled Soph: Literally who let me pick a major when I was constantly stoned because engineering is not where it's at.
Math major: Dude the internet might go down. If the virus gets into the servers…
White Cottage male with an AEI backpack: You can't get coronavirus if you get hit by a car.
Girl, pining for European boyfriend: I would not like to marry a circumcised man
Mother, letting out cry of surprise: Oh!
Authoritative 2D senior: There are actually many Brooklyn based Witches.
Tenured Comp Lit Professor: If you could draw this sentence as a topographical map, what would it show?
Sophomore trickster: I played an April Fool's prank and no one noticed it!
Me: What did you do?
Sophomore trickster: I died the toilet water yellow.
Princeton engineering prof: A lot of autoimmune disorders are because our bodies are bored.
Freshman with bangs on Super Tuesday: Loading up the New York Times. I’m such a liberal cuck.
Party Animal: I'm going to get so drunk tonight...it's Super Tuesday!
Senior: You know what would make a great Nass Article? "I tripped for 24 hours in Firestone: Here’s What I Found."
International Senior: Why are they cooking dogs? It really makes me unsettled. I thought that dogs are only killed for cooking in some places in Asia nowadays. I hate this.
Tony Award winning Director/Professor: You don't know for sure that I'm not a mass murderer.