Overheard in Rocky

Cultural Jew: You've never heard of Meyer Lansky? He's my favorite American Jew!

Overheard at a Nass meeting

Disappointed frosh: I've always been sort of tenuously interested in astrology because I'm a Leo.

Overheard in Aaron Burr Hall

Professor who brought candy for his class: At this point in the semester, an IV of crack is a better idea.

Overheard in Frist

Stressed-out sophomore: I'll be honest, I think I probably have a solid cry about once a month. Usually in the shower. Put on some sad music and just go for it. That way I'm not wasting time. I mean, we all have to shower.

Overheard at Terrace

Club Manager: I'm kind of a Wawa ho. I've been to every Wawa in North Jersey.

Overheard on Facetime

Yale grad student: New Haven has a surprising amount of nature. Like, rocks.

Overheard at a Nass meeting

St. Ann’s alum: My shower shoes are Birkenstocks.

Overheard in RoMa

Student in sophomore slump: These salad bowls give me anxiety.

Overhead on the Street

Quad senior: I think he's very confident about his weight loss from last summer. Then again, that's when he had malaria.

Overheard at Murray Dodge

St. A's Interviewee: People don't think English is hard until I tell them I'm going to law school after.

Overheard at Nass design hours

Angry aspiring Nass designer: Nietzsche's aesthetic is the Nass.

Overheard on study abroad in London

Princeton dropout, pointing at a Fjallraven Kanken backpack: I could wipe my butt with that.

Overheard on Nassau

Drunk townie, to three friends: I, like, never go out. If I do go out it's always with you five bitches.

Overheard in Wright

Nass frosh: I like memes and I like eating ass. Call me the dirty meme kid.

Overheard in LAS 371

Professor: What do you think about the recent news on Puerto Rico?
Cottage junior: I feel like before this I didn't even know where it was on the map. I just had, like, no consciousness of it.
Professor: …Where did you think it was?
Cottage junior: Idk in like the Pacific or something.

Overheard at Terrace

Officer: How does a sociopath masturbate?

Overheard at Ivy

Ivy Junior, on white male names: Matt is the white Muhammad.

Overheard on Poe Field

Nass publisher: I like to think of the Nass as a less sexy Playboy.

Overheard in 1901

Ivy junior, recounting Harry Styles concert: The girl next to me was obviously a YouTuber. She was wearing a beret!

Overheard in 1902

Junior woman: You went to an A$AP Mob concert?
Sophomore A's aspirant: I went to their album release party and groped A$AP Rocky while he was performing.

Overheard at Terrace

Feminist: I think each one of her boobs are eighteen of my boobs.

Overheard at Terrace

Brooklynite: If I knew how to drive, I'd know how to drive stick shift.

Overheard at Ivy

Ivy senior/Zete ringleader: Yeah, so let's do those same Zete hoodies from last year but with Trump on the front.

Overheard in RoMa

Nass editor, on former roommate: We crossed paths so little last year that I didn't even find out he had an exorcism until like three days ago.

Overheard at a pregame

Jewish senior man, commenting on his physical fitness: None of this screams "knows what to do in a gym." "Knows what to do in a deli?" Absolutely.