Overheard over text

Financial fiend: I think I might buy tiny amounts of bitcoin. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to lose at this point.

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Overheard in family group chat

Mother: Happy Valentine’s Day! I am so in love with each one of you truly wonderful people!

Fruit of her loins: Haha buy me dinner first.

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Overheard in EEB group project

Eager participant: I’m not sure this biodiversity thing matters, but I feel like it’ll make a good discussion question.

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Overheard Outside Trader Joe

Sophomore 1 on Bon Appetite: And then they got shut down because of racism.

Sophomore 2: And your sister is into that?

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Overheard over text

“To All the Boys” Fangurl 1: When we’re 40 we’ll have to get together for a wine night and watch the new movie about Lara Jean’s divorce.

“To All the Boys” Fangurl 2: Honestly… I’d watch it.

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Overheard Outside Wilcox

Girl kicking large package across icy path at midnight: I'm fine.

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Overheard in Forbes Annex

Sophomore 1 locked outside: I will honor code you, and then I will end your bloodline!

Sophomore 2 from the inside: Forget that. I'll social contract you!

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Overheard in Seminar

A perspicacious student of machine writing: James Joyce does not pass the Turing Test.

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Overheard in Zoom Dms

Comp Lit Girl: Let me tell you it is SO easy to snack on stuff. like am I hungry?? No!! Am I going to eat the entire thing today?? YES!!! Such is the life on zoom.

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Overheard in Sem

Tenured Theater Prof: Now my alcoholism is coming to fore…

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Overheard in Forbes Annex

New Jersey Public School Student: I didn't realize adults could actually be competent until I came to Princeton.

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Overheard via text

Intellectual, after making a sex joke: Punctuation speaks louder than words.

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Overheard during Lecture

HUM Professor: It's up to your generation to solve these problems. I'm ready to retire and die.

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Overheard in Creative Writing Workshop

Poetry Professor: You can’t hurt my feelings. Only fascists can hurt my feelings.

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Overheard on Twitch Stream

Confused Gamer: What's a bugle?

Designated Music Expert: It's a dog!

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Overheard in the Car

Annoyed Bridge Year Kid: St. A's people love nothing more than to tell you how they aren't supposed to talk about St. A's.

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Overheard in Theater Seminar

71-year-old professor: And the entire cast from Friends was in my dream. Joey and I went back to the hotel and… well I'll stop there.

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Overheard on Zoom

Theater Prof: My friend used to translate Aeschylus–you know the scholar Robert Fagles?

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Overheard in Class

Theater Professor: If you see a small bear, that's my dog Arlo. He once scared Joyce Carol Oates to death.

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Overheard in Poetry Seminar

Comp Lit Professor: What is happening while I'm making love?

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Overheard in Forbes

Swiftie 1: I think Taylor Swift is for everyone.

Swiftie 2: Bootlicker.

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Overhead in a dining hall

One student: Can you overdose on Gummy Vites?

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Overheard in Zoom DMs

Nass figurehead: My roommate really wants to flash his butt on this call

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Senior roommates driving to a grocery store during the snowstorm

Driver: No lanes, just vibes.

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Overheard while trying to avoid a sociopolitical debate

Comp lit major, hot chocolate in hand: The Princeton pandemic response has been the clearest case for anarchism that I've ever seen.

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