Future pop star/German professor: “What really drew me to Glee was the pregnancy. The prospect of a teen pregnancy.”

Riled-up mythbuster: “Santa Claus, bullshit, tooth fairy, bullshit, and love is a chemical activity.”

Suspicious professor: “I’m suspecting a lot of parties yesterday.” Exhausted student: “No. Benadryl.”

Primordial professor: “Back when I was YOUR age, dinosaurs walked the earth!”

Lecturer: “I’m doing ALL the talking — no one else is saying anything!”

Self-aware professor: “I will not play poker with you under any circumstances. I know my limits.”

Tired professor: “Suppose, God forbid, I had to grade all the midterms in this class.”

Professor: “Here is an example of a technology most of you guys have never seen before. *pulls out humongous dictionary* It’s a book. It’s a BIG book.”

Random student while bending down to pick up their pencil they dropped: God, I’m such a clumsy whore.

Pre-law enthusiast: “I just feel like…like immigration law is SO trendy right now.”

Junior who needs therapy: I didn’t want to start sobbing in the middle of Wucox again.

Long-haired Brit: I’m on a lot of mushroom forums.