Desperate international students: “Who do you love the most?” UK/US Passport Holder: “I’ll marry ALL of you!”

Guy: “What are you guys going to be for Halloween?” Girl 1: “I need a prompt, what’s relevant right now?” Girl 2: “We could be geoexchange whores. Or the ghost of Poe Field?”

Incredulous girl: can you imagine THIS being your cousin, and being SURPRISED she’s a bisexual?

Viewer: 9/11 is my Roman Empire

Pre-med student: I would do homework AT the orgy

Detractor: What’s the moral imperative for pickling a child?

Former baby: Well, when I was a gamete, I was fairly nude

English concentrator: They were stabbed in a very romantic way

Vegetarian: I feel like eggs are a constitutional issue

Disgruntled professor: So, which image do you want to talk about? Disgruntled professor, after about 10 seconds of uncomfortable silence: Okay, I guess democracy is bad then.

Allergy-ridden individual: It’s the sound of screaming peanuts

Proponent: Hold on, let me pull out my strategic pickle