Resolute socialist: Watching the GOP debate with the college republicans right now. Friend: How’s that going? Socialist: Holding in my scoffs of indignation

Fan: Girls don’t wear bras anymore, it’s 2021

Film buff: Judi Dench is an actress? Oh right, she was in Cats.

Bystander: I’ve seen people do CRAZY things with nine volt batteries

Friend, whispering: Okay, your dad’s good-looking but he’s not a smokeshow.

General enthusiast, nodding: Big vibe for a big dawg.

Good guy: Growing up in the Bay Area, they made us eat pronoun cookies and critical race pizza after school.

Wise junior: I need someone who would break up with me if I even considered going into consulting.

Professor: A while ago, I went with a Soviet research team to northeast Siberia. It was a little chaotic. Probably because the Soviet Union was collapsing at the time.

Friend 1, texting: Do you want me to bring the bong. Friend 2: No, it’s all good. Friend 1, arriving: Sorry, I didn’t see your text. I brought it anyway. I also brought my popcorn maker.

Jeff Nunokawa: Your grandparents will remember this, if they’re not dead Jeff Nunokawa, later: Tell your grandparents this. They’ll die

Fast fashion proponent: It’s uncouth to wear the same thing everyday