Stoner German major: “There’s kinda beef between the Benjamin and Adorno fandoms.”

Frosh taking care of drunk friend: I’ve been around a lot of people who have been McCoshed or PMCed and he is not at that point yet

Scholarly Grammarian: I can’t take another erotic poetry course, I already took one on Sappho!

Italian Person: Wait, the Communists weren’t Christian??

Harvard alum: “I didn’t think anything of Mark Zuckerberg, he was just in my CS24 class.”

BSE frosh: “I would rather do 100 math problems than read two pages.”

Irish poetry scholar: “The thing about me is I know for a FACT that Fintan O’Toole is a bisexual.”

Gamer guy, walking on gravel: This sounds just like breaking a Minecraft dirt block.

Smut reader: Don’t ruin this pear for me

Nass newcomer: I should probably submit a verbottom

Sophomore, possible bassist: When I think of my bedroom, I think of sticky and sweaty.

Curler: All bassists are sweaty