Slavic professor, probing his students yet again: So I am the prof and I come in here and say you people are so immature. Okay, so, how do you get out of that? Because by trying to show me you are mature, you are going to prove to me that you are immature. Double whammy.…

Depraved, morally-bankrupt girl: Was Jesus a virgin? Pervert: Mary was. Depraved, morally-bankrupt girl: Yeah, virginity runs in the family I guess.

Large athletic man: Astrology is just space racism!

Clearly a NARP: Sometimes I wish I were an athlete. It must be great to just run around a field occasionally and pretend you’re at war or something.

Roommate: I have squeezed the ball, now I will touch the tortilla.

Star-crossed artist: Born to paint in a small cottage in France. Forced to do COS126.

Proud Irish lesbian: Are you also Irish? Shameful American lesbian: No, I’m American… Proud Irish lesbian: Oh, that’s okay, we accept you still.

OA veteran: Mandatory affinity group is segregation. That is literally the definition. 

Secular folklorist: We should get one of those rooms with a shared bathroom.  Biblical muddlehead: Oh, you mean an Adam and Eve?

Slavic professor probing his students: I am being kind of a jerk here, but that’s the point.

Chill-ass chiller, chillingly: Last night was such a fever dream. Everything happened yet nothing did.

Perceptive professor: So many things often feel accidental… like being gay or whatever. Or the Metamorphosis.