Thirsty Nass-supporter: I would be honored to have a verbatim-writing credit.

Has their priorities straight: I want to take a gap year to focus on my aquaponic farm.

Normal guy: I feel like I’m witnessing some kind of masculine pagan ritual right now.

Professor in the streets, verbal veteran in the Sheets: I have used the word “cowed” but I would never recommend it.

Cottage cheese & tinned fish fangirl: I’m trying to eat more elderly people foods.

Scooter-less freshman male: I swear, dude, with all this rain and all these NPCs walking around, I’m going to hit someone on my bike and kill them.

Enlightened empath, currently taking HUM219 Jesus and Buddha: You should always feel bad for stupid people.

Discerning roommate, counseling on matters of love: He’s weird in an acceptable way. 

Friend-turned-lover: Kissing is like a poor man’s hanging out.

Student, hating on professor : He’s only tall if you measure in how much of a bitch he is…

Confused basketball fan: Is bounce-off at 8?

Student storyteller: I was taking Advil PM and DayQuil and having them fight it out because that’s the only way I could get high at the time.