Just got ghosted on Hinge: It doesn’t matter, the life is ruined already.

Sensorially sensitive: My bottles are so loud, it’s embarrassing.

Traditional (mentally-shackled) woman: I just feel bad after drinking. Alcohol makes me feel depressed the morning after. Liberated (depressed) woman: Sounds like a skill issue.

Honor Code Violator: Yeah, ever since ChatGPT came out, I’ve been finding it so hard to write sentences.

Returning from the Street: What did she say about you? Perceived Aristocrat: She said I don’t seem like someone who would mingle with the poor.

T.I.’s Southern Gentleman: If I were given the opportunity to be Jewish, I would love it. I can’t imagine having that taken away from me like that.

Has their priorities straight: I couldn’t break up with him today. I had a COS project.

Gay-passing pedant: You called Chris’s biceps “glistening”?  Woman: What word would you use?  Gay-passing pedant: Bulging, gargantuan, varicose, veiny.

Free spirit: I had ice-cream twice today. Zero-sugar, can deadlift 425 lbs: I might have to McCosh you if this behavior continues…

Overthinker: We were the problem.  Underthinker: No, because we were the majority.

Hysterical: My PMS is getting to my ears.

Has hyper-flexible elbows: Women are so understudied. We have no idea what kind of weird muscles we might have.