Disgruntled professor: So, which image do you want to talk about?
Disgruntled professor, after about 10 seconds of uncomfortable silence: Okay, I guess democracy is bad then.
Proponent: Hold on, let me pull out my strategic pickle
Barista-humanist, to other barista-humanists: Dialing in the espresso machine together is the closest I’ll ever get to Los Alamos.
Excited frosh: First one to have sex in FLIB gets 1000 dollars from me.
Exploitative junior: My sister is a freshman here. We have a great deal going. I buy her alcohol and she does my laundry.
Student: Didn’t the Prince publish that really awful article about that kid with the Filipina maid? It was called, like, “Gloria.”
Nass Editor-In-Chief: That was the Nass.
Person wanting trail mix: Let me get in there
Person holding trail mix: You know who gets in here all the time without asking?
Legacy student: Legacy students
Soft-spoken philo-bro: I'm trying to cut back on the caffeine. 300 milligrams a day was feeling risky.
Chatty gay: And how much is in that yerba mate?
Philo-bro: Only 200. It's about the tapering.
Cooked junior: Pre-frosh? You mean high school student. Okay, so I’m a pre-grad student. I’m a pre-father. I’m a pre-dead man.
Guy in Princeton Squash backpack: If there were a zombie apocalypse I'm not sure I'd be able to keep moving
Girl 1: I’ve been buying so many clothes on my mom’s credit card
Girl 2: Doesn’t she mind?
Girl 1: It’s okay, I buy smaller things in-between so she doesn’t notice the big purchases when she looks at the statement.
Tallest man in the world, pointing at a picture of outer space: Would you finger yourself there?
23-year-old roommate: Can we play photo roulette when you guys get back to the room tonight?
Skeptical student, googling: Is Socrates a real person?
Skeptical student: *drops the class*
English major, reading the most recent Nass issue: Oh, so the second article they're publishing is a semester out of date… classic…
American history buff: This isn't about you, we're talking about one of our nation's great founding fathers.
Captain, on the overhead announcements: If you’re from England, congratulations to your soccer team on advancing in the Women’s world cup!
British flight attendant, two minutes later: Sorry about our captain, he’s American. He meant football.