Bored Mom, about NYT Spelling Bee: I got genius once and then I was hooked, like drugs.

Chapter 5: What are the properties of a hairless hole?

Humanities Student: I don’t think I’ve ever had to study for an exam.

Professor: There was once a time, and I know you guys don’t remember this, where if you wanted something to turn on you flipped a switch.

Bored Professor: Grad student encounters. They’re always so memorable.

Striped-shirt straight guy: I’ve never met a bisexual guy I didn’t find annoying. 

170-pound man: “It’s a little confusing, because cumming on someone is not really complimentary.” 

Socialist poet: I hate to say it, but mass democracy was a great mistake for America.

Starving Brit: I’m so hungry, I feel like I have abs.

Professor: Here is a little tip about 19th century literature. When you see … … What does that mean? It means they had sex!

Barista: Is whole milk fine with that? Wife: Yes, please.  Husband: Skim.

Google Calendar Warrior: I don’t have time for lunch today but you can walk with me from New South to East Pyne between 10:50 and 11:00 if you want to talk.