Nassling: “I wish guys had urologists like girls had gynecologists. I want a more specific doctor to look at my junk.”

Anxious Professor:” This is good to know if you ever have a demonic encounter.”

Nass Head Design: “I’m kind of the English GOAT if you think about it.”

Attention Historian: “I’ve just learned that there’s a class-action lawsuit against Film at Lincoln Center.” (spills full bottle of Diet Coke all over table)

Someone who hates acapella renditions of Imagine: “Gal Gadot is a girl chud.”

Diagrammatic diva: “We made a deal that when fascism takes hold, we’re going to start vaping again.”

Misinformed Historian: I hate the Irish. I’ll never forgive the Irish for starting the potato famine.

Girl With Beautiful Hair: I don’t think she’s ever experienced discomfort in her life. Well, except for when I caused her discomfort.

Old woman, excitedly: Any opioids…I’m in!! Count me in!! 

Freshly Back From A Trip Abroad: No one wanted us there…but they were friendly. 

A Hater: I love hating. I love so many things honestly too, but I think it’s really hard to get a reputation as a lover. 

Likes to Mix It Up: The three kinds of music I’m always listening to are harsh noise, jazz, and Midwest emo.