Blonde: “What school are you from?” Exchange Student:  “北京University.” Blonde: “Is that in California?”

Korean-American Berkeley Student: “I’m descended from farmers so I’m from a farm. I’m a farmer too. It makes sense in Korean.”

Girl on a date, playing dumb: “Isn’t rain salty? I thought it was salt water.”

Teen 1: “Where would the tattoo be?” Teen 2: “In the tattoo parlor.” Teen 1: “Like, where on your body?”

16-year old, while stealing, to an associate: “My concealer shade is 34D.”

Horny future politician: ”I could never sleep with a conservative.”

South Carolinian: “I was living underneath the Confederate statues.”

CWR Professor: “Animal Farm is fine propaganda. Not literature.”

Bro 1: “They have Sabrina Carpenter in Fortnite.” Bro 2: “Oh, shit. I’d buy her.”

The same SLA professor: “You need human suffering in order to experience genuine happiness. I mean, are we really going to just sit around all day and eat twinkies and call that happiness?”

Former child with an au pair: “It’s because she wanted a child but she wasn’t pregnant so she got a horse.”

Girl with a nice smile: “I want to have the mouth that one has when they don’t have teeth but have dentures.”