Econ major: This semester is different for me. I’ve gone on many dates with many girls.
High half-Jewish frosh, looking at CJL t-shirt: Does this say “Jewish” in Hebrew or something?
21-year-old woman watching Game of Thrones, with gravity: I would never wanna go to the wall.
Source, cited in APA format: [...] (be-a-bitch-or-die-trying, 2016).
Future financier, totally unironically: I was named after money.
Feminist: I enveloped him last night.
Nass editor reporting back on Sunday Funday: These are people who get down to John Mayer. I just don’t get it.
Tech god: Come on baby, I made money on fitbit today.
Bouncer, to senior who dropped Terrace: You graduated already. child.
Senior: No, I am graduating in June.
Bouncer: Don’t bullshit me. I know you.
Frosh girl: This is awesome. I feel so elitist.
Claudia Brodsky in evening seminar: I’ve never taught in front of someone peeling a banana. I’ve seen everything else, but never a banana!
Frosh boy 1: Yeah and then we were walking to a pregame and she just goes, “Yeah I licked my boyfriend’s asshole!” right outside the tent with all the Jews in it!
Frosh boy 2: The tent with all the Jews in it?
Junior WASP: Brooks Brothers is where I go if I need a shirt and haven’t done laundry.
Frosh, speaming to person offstage:Why are you liking messages? You should be fucking.
Junior ORFE girl, giving advice: I just base all of my decisions on regret minimization framework.
Part-time adviser, full-time baller: We don’t need to meet again before the end of the semester. There’s a reason it’s called “independent” work.
Elderly woman, to senior Nass woman dressed in a sweatshirt and baggy pants, shrieking: STEWARDESS — IT IS ABSOLUTELY FREEZING IN HERE!