Love, Nassau Style

Overheard from a sorority girl

I don’t know why my boyfriend just can’t get over it. I mean, Jesus forgave Mary Magdaline when she slept around!

I dunno, I think my smoking crack rock is worse than you being a cheerleader.

You live in a single, what do you mean you don’t have any hand lotion?

Dude, that’s my box you’re peeing in!

Will you all stop being fucking nose pirates and go to bed, goddammitt?

Dude, I think if you got your butthole pierced, it would feel good.

Would you let Michael Jordan suck your dick?
A mouth’s a mouth, even if it is Michael Jordan’s.

I’m always a little grumpy when I have to come back to New Jersey.

Girl 1: I really liked him, but when he was drunk he kept trying to rape me!
Girl 2: Well, at least he wasn’t trying to rape anyone else.