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A Letter from the Icy Club
Do not listen to the rumors. In fact, starting right now, do not listen to anyone. No, not your closest friends. No, not even your mom. Definitely not your mom. Everyone is out to sabotage you. Paranoia is the only way to survive. I might be a saboteur (I’m not). But I might be (again,…
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Peer Review: Jeremy Revises Isabel’s Essay
Jeremy Cohen marks up Isabel Henderson’s Common App essay.
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Peer Review: Isabel Revises Jeremy’s Essay
Isabel Henderson revises Jeremy Cohen’s Common App essay.
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H, to O
Dear Oxygen, I haven’t seen you in a while. And I suppose you’ve never really seen me (remember, I am just one proton). Though I periodically get lonely, I manage to stay positive. This is a joke, Oxygen. You see, I am always positive in an electromagnetic sense (I am a proton!), but my morale—well,…
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Greek Life
In the past month I’ve read loads of Greek classics. It was a really depressing month filled with people killing their kids, kids killing their parents, people marrying their parents, people stabbing other people in their eyes or at least stabbing themselves in their eyes. It seems like these things were so common in ancient…
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Who in the Pinke
Twenty-two years and some number between one and 365 days before this article was published, I, William Pinke, bungee-jumped out my mother’s womb and into the world, a mindless, hairless, obese blank slate. I was given only four things that day: my name, my brain, my body, and a blanket. Since then, I have carried…
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121 Reasons Why I Have to Attend a Different Precept
Can’t listen to the kid next to me clear his throat again.
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Welcome to Our Study
Take off your underwire bra and your prison tattoos. Thank you. Put in these earplugs please. You’ll hear us; we’ll speak very loudly and with gestures.
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Battle of the Bedbugs
Rejoice, my comrades! Today has been a truly glorious day in the history of our intrepid battalion. From the moment we were deployed at the peak of summer heat, to our present landing as the season has begun to wane, our mission has been blessed by our Lord, the Great Bed-Crawler. All bow to His…
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Group Ecology
Welfome to Princhips, where it’s reproductive season again. A group of horny superorganisms called student groups are vying for your attention and panting for your consent.