Obsessed stalker: Tell her I miss her.
Intermediary: What about her?
Obsessed stalker: Her jokes…her thirst for hot guys…that time she ate frozen pineapple.
Dear Reader, Certain scholars have said that we need new literary forms to accurately reflect the anxieties of this generation. If you’ll indulge us in a navel-glance, this week the Nassau Weekly searches for a physical form that better reflects our sentiments. The Nass aspires to represent our age’s varied zeitgeist–this issue, our…
The Nass is ready to strip off all of this irony. We’re getting down to business.

worn my heart on my sleeve turned around so fast my butt made a clapping noise fallen off gooned Been a freak Matched your freak Ordered a bride on doordash Been a mail order bride Been a weirdo. I don’t fit in, and I don’t… wanna fit in listened to radiohead. by myself. fuck my…
Obsessed stalker: Tell her I miss her.
Intermediary: What about her?
Obsessed stalker: Her jokes…her thirst for hot guys…that time she ate frozen pineapple.