World Around the United States

May 2, 2013


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Overheard at a basketball game


Overheard in Forbes

Ivy sophomore: So, you’re going to some 3rd world country and doing healthcare stuff this summer, right?
Cap sophomore: ...Philadelphia.

Overheard in an English precept

Girl: The Stanford Prison Experiments were run in response to the Abu Ghraib prison scandals, which occured in the 1970s.

Overheard in Mathey

TI male, thoughtfully: I used to want to defy science, so I tried to think of thing that weren’t solid, liquid or gas. I came up with shit like... yogurt.

Overheard in Wu

Tower sophomore, on Terrace: It was a really weird scene. Everyone was smoking pot.

Overheard in a bathroom stall

Sophomore female: Like I’m not gonna throw up but I’m gonna get RULL silly. I’m going to TI and I just hope I hook up with a guy to validate my sexuality.

Overheard in DiSiac audience

Basketball bro, to fellow bro: An aphro-diSiac is something that puts you in the mood, that makes you feel sexual. Like, yours would be shoes.

Overheard in ‘The Prince’

The Sexpert: Dear Whiskey Dick, Yes! You can have plenty of fun, both at formals and afterwards, without drinking.

Overheard at Communiversity

Man, to small child: You see what these kids get up to? Isn’t college crazy?

Overheard on the Terrace deck

Terrace Show chair: I just booked a band called Panty Raid.
Sophomore: What do they play?
Show chair: I don’t know.

Overheard at Poe Field

Skater townie: When I go to college I’m going to be the one girl playing with all the guys, just like that girl over there.

Overheard on Facebook

Tiger Admirers: I fell for you, but you weren’t there to catch me.

Overheard at Cottage

AEPi sophomore: If I were single I would come here all the time. I would spend my life here. All the hot girls are here.

Overheard in Terrace library

Terrace junior: Sometimes, when I’m staring a large amount of work in the face, I wish that meth habits were socially acceptable.

Overheard in Ivy

Theta sophomore: Black babies are cute until they start growing hair.