The Soft Issue
December 1, 2011
Verbatim
More →Overheard in Butler Basement:
Boy: I don’t like to snowboard and act like I’m black. I like to ski and be white.
Overheard in Wu:
Toolish COS major: I’m gonna go upstairs and study in Jane Street Library. I mean, J Street.
Overheard outside Studio 34:
Bro among bros: I can’t wear backwards hats. Some people just have the face for it... I just have a long face. I can do cowboy hats, though. I have a cowboy face.
Overheard on Theta email list:
Thetas: Be opened minded.
Overheard at Occupy Princeton:
Protestor: Does anybody know how to work a computer?
Overheard in Bendheim:
(Discussing what English names to adopt) Chinese grad student 1: I can’t decide between Lucretia or Titania.
Chinese grad student 2: Go with one that would be good for your resume.
Overheard on Broadway Trip:
Girl, after prop auction: Do you know how many massages I could buy with $3,500?
Overheard in my room:
Nass editor’s roommate: If I had an English accent, I’d be capable of absolute devastation.
Overheard in T12 Patton:
Guy: Putting a case on your iPhone is like putting a burqa on your girlfriend.
Overheard in Charter bathroom:
Drunk girl 1: He wants your body.
Drunk girl 2, mournfully: No, it’s much worse! He wants my personality!
Overheard in Frist:
Fratstar, to other fratstar: Do you know me? If there is any way I can pay someone to fight my fights for me I’m going to do it.
Overheard on Pi Phi email list:
Fearless leader: The vodka,, gicwe to me and ti is yoursss
Overheard in Frist:
Bro, gravely: I’m probably not gonna get into Ivy when I bicker.
Other bro: What, yes you are!
Bro: Yeah I’m just fucking.
Overheard on Twitter:
CWR prof Colson Whitehead: I live two blocks from where I’m reading tonight. I can finish talking and totally be spankin’ it five minutes later. #metrics