The Nas Weekly

April 19, 2013


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Overheard in Whitman

KA senior: Is there an LGBT publication on campus? Like, a gay issues publication? ‘Cause for a long time that’s what I thought the Nassau Weekly was.

Overheard over text message

Future RCA: I can get all my zees to live in one room, and we can occupy [redacted] and party. If my zees complain, I’ll hide cocaine in their one room and call P-safe.

Overheard in Frist

Gay man: The ideal girl is a pretty girl with the personality of an ugly girl.

Overheard at the CJL

Freshman girl, to Ivy sophomore: Why did you join Ivy?
Ivy sophomore, incredulously, to Ivy senior: She just asked me why I joined Ivy.

Overheard in Rocky

Prefrosh: He’s black, he’s a national merit scholar, and he’s 6’5” and yoked, like a car hit him and it got dented. He also writes like super sensitive poetry, and his name’s Descartes.

Overheard in REL 222

Professor: Emerson understood thought, like ejaculate, to solidify after exposure.

Overheard in Frist

Sophomore girl: I just saw a girl wearing bows on her shirt, shoes, rings, and hair.
Sophomore Pi Phi: She must be a Theta.

Overheard at a Pregame

Freshman, to prefrosh: Guys, you need to leave, if you get caught you could lose your places.
4 prefrosh nod and prepare to leave
Rebellious prefrosh: I’m willing to take the risk.

Overheard on Twitter

Whitman College Council: Hey Whitman! Tomorrow’s kinda special - every Whale can bring one NON-Whitmanite friend! See you and your +1 tomorrow night!

Overheard at Wawa

Cannon member, to exiting strangers: Goodnight, ladies! And gentleMAN!

Overheard at Nass open house

Prefrosh: Hi, I’m Aaron.
Nass freshman: You paused. Is it, like, a longer name?
Prefrosh: No, it’s a stutter.

Overheard outside Cuyler

Theta senior: I was really into him until he came to my room wearing a Hollister polo and cargo shorts. Dealbreaker!

Overheard on Prospect Avenue

Dude, contemplatively: I like Cannon. It has a cannon.

Overheard at Terrace

Corporate tool, on phone: I mean, learning is learning. You can’t let the technological bullshit get in the way of that. (pause as his interlocutor talks) All right, bye mom.

Overheard on a resume

PDP sophomore: Member, Princeton Tower Club (selective social eating club)