The Lifestyle Issue

April 12, 2007

Detours in Derbyshire

When I was eleven, I visited Glastonbury Abbey, one of the top contenders for the title of “final resting place of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere.” At the time, my main sources of King Arthur knowledge were a high-school theatre … Read More

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Towards an Enthusiastic Fiction

They say that to be a great writer, you have to kill your liver. Or, preferably, yourself. To paraphrase Tolstoy’s old saw: happiness is banal; misery, unique. But do you really have to feel at odds with the world to write?

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The Zen Artist

“We, um, mention some of this in our catalog,” Art History Professor Yoshiaki Shimizu told the unsought crowd of 40-plus people clustered around him in the gallery of his just-opened show at the Japan Society on Friday afternoon. Since he … Read More

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The Tale of a Twin Study

I always wanted a twin. I wanted us to dress in identical outfits and play tricks on our teachers. I wanted to have a crazy psychic bond and a secret language, and I wanted to feel pain when my twin … Read More

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What a Catch!

A man, Dave
A dog, Charlie
A woman, Alice

—no dialogue is audible—

The action opens on a bright sunny spring day on a residential street of a bustling city. Music: chipper.

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All Religions Fulfilled!

The assertion “I’m not really religious, but I’m spiritual” generally serves its purpose. My devout Christian friends are silenced, and the rest of the religious conversationalists generally nod their heads in agreement. “Yeah, me too,” several agree. “I’m spiritual, just … Read More

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The Bierderman Ipod Gospel

So we’ve all seen Rob Biederman’s egg-hunt email. It got us to thinking…what if the USG reconceived every important holiday? A few ideas: Ash Wednesday: You and a group of friends attend 8 a.m. mass. After applying the soot, a … Read More

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Song for Cecilia

I’m a sweet voice, I’m a big commission, I’m composer’s choice, I’m a fresh rendition, A grand premier, a higher sphere, a call for more, A Caruso, a gracious nod, a last encore, A curtain call, a concert hall, a … Read More

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From the Editor’s Desk

You know what we’re bored of? Everything that isn’t a Nassau Weekly Lifestlyes Issue. But a Nassau Weekly Lifestyles Issue, now that, that is something we can get excited about! You might be asking: what are these new-fangled lifestyles? Do … Read More

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Grindhouse! Grindhouse! Grindhouse!

In a word: fucking awesome. Three hours and 11 minutes of sheer glory in the form of people killing people and saying cool shit and blowing stuff up. Did I mention zombies and girl power? One darksome eve we pilgrims … Read More

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The Gender Revolution

Jean/Gene Beebe ’10 was taken aback when I contacted her. “I’m curious as to how you found out about me, and why you want to interview me,” she writes in an e-mail, adding in parentheses: “(Unfortunately, in this socially conservative … Read More

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My Christian Roommate

The first thing they do when they get your freshman rooming preferences is they throw them in the trash. They just dump them right in, piles of them crunched up and discarded until that great big bin is brimming full with them. And then – then the real thing starts. They shut the blinds and dim the lights. They lock the office door. And finally, when everybody’s seated, when everyone is ready, they begin to assemble the hell that is our roommate pairings, exhibiting all the tact and skill of a television writing staff as they concoct these garish personal sitcoms that recall either Perfect Strangers or, for the more unfortunate, No Exit.

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Beyond New York

There are mannequins coming out of the ceiling. That is the first thing you notice when you walk into the Paper Moon diner. There are mannequins tangled in ceiling fans with garlands of ivy. There are Barbie dolls and action … Read More

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The Chabad Affair: Part Two

Given the impenetrable penumbra of mystery surrounding the secret letter from the Center for Jewish Life (CJL) to President Shirley Tilghman about the Chabad Affair, one may question the current adequacy of the support for Jewish life at Princeton. Though … Read More

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Verbatim

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Overheard in a car

Student: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Son of VP of Bed, Bath and Beyond: Yeah, one sister.
Student: Oooh, a sister, eh?
Son of VP: Yeah, but don't get too excited -- she's 14and you're not seeing any of her while we're home tonight.
Student: Ah, too bad. I would have loved to bed, bath and beyond her.

Overheard at Terrace

Guitarist: Have you seen our black friend? We think he's dead.

Overheard outside McCosh

Guy on cell phone: Yeah, apparently she's a carrier, so I can still get it.

Overheard in Ivy

Horrible douche: My mistress hasn't been born yet.

Overheard outside of USG office

Son about father: Bob is here and he wants to fuck.

Overheard in HIS 208 lecture

Professor: I taught school in Southern California once. The students there knew that you never fought your supplier.

Overheard outside of Frist

Girl on cell phone: First the Holocaust, now this!