The Destitution of our Constitution by the Restitution of this Institution

November 22, 2012


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Overheard at Frist printer:

Impatient girl in an eating club: Who is still printing? Do you guys not realize bicker is coming up?

Overheard in HUM/EAS 233:

Professor, on most recent paper assignment: There are some people, I think, who would benefit from a deeper understanding of writing and what it is.

Overheard in Studio 34:

Dude, to other dude: Dude, I’m telling you, by a girl’s 18th orgasm she only burns like 6 calories!

Overheard in fratter’s room:

Vengeful fratter: Yeah, she downed one of our guys in the fall; spring bicker is gonna be the Thetapocalypse.

Overheard via text:

Editor-in-chief, after all-nighter:
Pls colonize my insides
My throat a dry columnar hive
Pls. Your bees from their wild thighs my throat bedew with honey that I might suffocate sweetly

Overheard in passing:

Professor Adam Elga, to former student:
yo sup

Overheard in HUM 216-217:

Triangle performer in a tiger suit, entering with a group of actors in drag: Hello Tigers!
Professor P. Adams Sitney: Out! We have no time for this Dionysian debauchery!

Overheard at confessional:

Sophomore girl using Snapchat: I feel so guilty. He's sent me nine dick pics already and I've only sent one tit pic in return.

Overheard in Henry:

Baseball junior: Dude, you peed all over my desk. That’s just not okay.

Overheard at bonfire:

Alum, listening to speeches: You know, I was here 20 years ago when my class did this, and I think we just lit it.

Overheard at bonfire:

Sophomore crew guy: Yo, people in the front, let’s get some live tweets about what’s going on up there. We can’t see shit.

Overheard at Palmer House:

Professor Edmund White, to Professor Susan Choi: What do your children think about you being Asian? Do they think that’s wild?

Overheard in seminar:

Grad student, discussing post-colonial theory: It seems like instead of making the present-absent present, he makes the absent more present.

Overheard in lecture:

Visiting linguistics professor, after cross-dressed cheerleaders from Triangle run into lecture hall: Ooh, I need to sit down now.

Overheard at Frist:

Boy 1: Fine Library is like a vagina
Boy 2: how so
Boy 1: its sunken
Boy 1: its a chalice

Overheard in Ivy:

Officer: I want the billionaires on this campus to step up.

Overheard by Cafe Viv:

Theta: Wanna make roadies and go to Paper Source?