Putin

February 29, 2008

From the Editors

Dear All, Sometimes we make mistakes. Most of the time they are small– like forgetting to wipe before we get in the shower or eating too much at dinner. Sometimes, however, these mistakes are rather large. Like having sex with … Read More

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The Fifth Column

To the males who inhabit my building, I pose the following question: Seriously? When I arrived in the good old 08540 so many months ago, I had long since learned what I understand to be the laws–facts, perhaps, is a … Read More

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Do svidaniya Putin

It is hard to believe, but the eight years are almost over. For ninety-some months, Vladimir Putin has led his country though gruesome displays of terrorism, border crises, a dysfunctional pension system, and a generally decaying infrastructure. He has done it all despite a hailstorm of international criticism from both those who oppose his blunt foreign policy and those who question his exercise of enormous executive authority. And on Sunday, Russian voters will go to the polls to confirm his chosen heir to the throne, Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev.

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Lawrenceville of Arabia

Welcome to Education City: the first knowledge-oriented theme park. Take the path to your left to experience true southern craftiness at Virginia Commonwealth University. But wait a second, if you’re a real Southerner at heart, then you may want to walk a little further to Texas A&M, just down the road. For novelty’s sake, you can take a few courses down south, but if Tex-Mex is not your style, don’t fret. Oh, right, did I mention that this theme park is actually a 2,500 miles distant multi-university campus in Doha, the capital of Qatar?

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Anscombe Affair, Revisited

Many people have remarked upon the similarities between Emma Yates’ recent op-ed in the Prince, “Getting unlucky on Valentine’s day,” (published 2/22/08) and Francisco Nava’s infamous op-ed, “Princeton’s latex lies,” (published 11/7/07).
Both take theatrical umbrage at the prevalence of a “hookup culture.” Both take aim at the imaginary misdeeds of university or student organizations: Nava objects to the distribution of condoms by University Health Services (UHS), while Yates objects to the cavalier advertisement of the availability of condoms through posters circulated by the Sexual Health Advisors (SHA).

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She’s Ajar

Two things occurred to me as I watched Wilco perform at the Tower Theater outside of Philly last Saturday: one, Jeff Tweedy is really old. And two, I hate PDA.

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Sentimental Educations

I opened my eyes. I saw hints of a cloudless sky through the canopy, and the sounds of tropical birds filtered into my ears. I was drawing a blank. I tried to stand up, but the world was spinning. Somewhere behind me an engine sputtered and died. Gradually I started remembering what happened. I remembered swerving to miss a strange jungle creature that had darted out into the dirt road, going off the track, thinking damn, I am about to hit this tree, then squeezing my eyes shut a split second before the collision.

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The Origins of My Jamaican Accent

That I spent the first 13 years of my life living with a Jamaican woman is always striking to those who best know me. Seldom, I suppose, is the topic broached in casual parley. So when I reveal I have … Read More

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Week in Review

The Healthy Eating Lab. Yeah, remember that? It used to be where the convenience store is now. I think it had noodles or…fruit or something. It’s really very hard to write an elegiac piece for a place I don’t think … Read More

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Week in Review

The 80th Academy Awards were like the 4th of July. You hear fireworks, and think perhaps to go to the window, but on second thought decide to keep on sitting on the couch. You’ve seen fireworks, but at this point … Read More

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Week in Review

Before you roll your eyes—surprise! another starry-eyed undergrad paean to Barack Obama!—I’ll have you know that here at the Nass we’re not in the business of writing portentous presidential endorsements, as is the wont of our esteemed colleagues over at … Read More

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Week in Review

A recent discovery made in Deutschkatharinenberg, a German town near the Czech border, may come as a fantastic surprise. Or a not-so-surprising disappointment. Christian Hanisch and Hans-Peter Haustein, leaders of a treasure-hunting expedition, may very well have uncovered the hiding … Read More

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Verbatim

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Overheard at Tower initiations

Tower member to Anscombe Society member: Your soul belongs to Jesus, but your ass belongs to me.

Overheard on Fox

Bill Kristol, proposing a new campaign strategy for Hillary Clinton: How about reality? And by that I mean . . . how about fear? I recommend to her the politics of fear.

Overheard in Forbes dining hall

Girl to table at large: You know The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? My friends and I have a Sisterhood of the Traveling Corset. It's lacy and purple. Boy at table: Wait . . . that, like, totally undermines the feminist message of the book.

Overheard in Terrace

Terran girl, to friend: Hey, how’s it goi-
Silly sophomore girl doing her Terrace offering: BLAH BLAH BLAH (giggles at how silly she’s being)
Friend: So her offering is to say ‘blah blah’ every time you talk?
Terran girl: Yeah-
Silly sophomore girl: BLAH BLAH BLAH (giggles more)
Friend: Do you wanna do some lines?
Terran girl: Sure.
Silly sophomore girl: (silence)